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How to be a Perfect Liberal Democrat (vanity)
email | 20 Feb 2006 | Unknown

Posted on 2/20/2006, 2:30:48 PM by timsbella

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Continued in comment...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: humanist; liberal; secular
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...Continued

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen.Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal..

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, rightwing conspiracy.

Received this as a forward from a friend and it rings true!

1 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:30:50 PM by timsbella
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To: timsbella

Bookmarked for reading later. Thanks.


2 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:33:35 PM by alicewonders
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To: timsbella

True!


3 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:34:35 PM by GOPRaleigh (If John Kerry didn't exist then Karl Rove would have to invent him.)
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To: timsbella

You believe that government should have an ever increasing role in people's lives

You believe that people should have less and less say in how government spends their money

You believe that success is wrong and should be taxed accordingly

You believe that Bush and company are the Taliban of American society but feel it is okay for black churches to involve themselves in politics

You just believe that no matter what, it's always Bush's fault

You believe that terrorists are afforded protections under the Constitution


4 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:37:20 PM by misterrob (Islam is a hate crime)
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To: timsbella

You have to believe that countries/ nations are social construction of the 18th century white, Europeans, which will pass soon, and be replaced by the United Nations.


5 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:40:01 PM by paudio
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To: misterrob

Nice additions...

"You believe that success is wrong and should be taxed accordingly"

As a Canadian, I think this may be part of our oath of citizenship, but that's just me.


6 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:40:22 PM by timsbella (Mark Steyn for Prime Minister of Canada!)
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To: timsbella

Thanks for posting. Passing this on.


7 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:43:09 PM by texianyankee
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To: timsbella

To sum it all up: YOU HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT.


8 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:45:02 PM by ConservativeBamaFan
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To: timsbella

You have to believe that Osama Bin Laden escaped capture from the most technologically advanced nation on earth by decsending down a 15,000 foot mountain over the course of three days on the back of a donkey AND is still at large.


9 posted on 2/20/2006, 2:49:20 PM by CheezyChesster (Oop's maybe this one is supposed to be true !)
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To: timsbella

excellent


10 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:01:48 PM by Rennes Templar ("The future ain't what it used to be".........Yogi Berra)
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To: timsbella

You have to believe that corporations that give outlandish bonuses to it's executives prior to filing bankruptcy to cancel all existing shares of their stock AND to only approximately one year later reopen new stock valued at $15 and a buyout of yet another corporation, is prudent business ethics.


11 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:05:57 PM by CheezyChesster (Oop's maybe this one is supposed to be true !)
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To: timsbella

You believe that the US deserved to be attacked on 9/11 and that the terrorists are Freedom-Fighters.

You believe that the terrorists would stop trying to hurt us if we'd just pack up and hide inside our national borders.

You belive that we don't need a military and it should be totally disbanded because that's what causes war; having a military.

You think Jane Fonda and Michael Moore are Great Americans.


12 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:17:25 PM by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)
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To: timsbella
Addendum

You have to believe that Alec Baldwin is a great actor.

13 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:18:15 PM by WideGlide (That light at the end of the tunnel might be a muzzle flash.)
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To: timsbella
I can simplify the list.

1. Must be anti-Christian.
2. Must be anti-American (western civilization).
3. Must be anti-Capitalist.

Following the above three will always give you the left's position on any issue. If there is a conflict, these can be treated as an order of priority.
14 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:20:49 PM by SampleMan
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To: timsbella

You have to believe that by scuttleling Billion dollar warships to build a reef and building new Trillion dollar warships is somehow cheaper than refitting the existing vessels slatted for scrap


15 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:21:16 PM by CheezyChesster (Oop's maybe this one is supposed to be true !)
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To: CheezyChesster
You have to believe that by scuttleling Billion dollar warships to build a reef and building new Trillion dollar warships is somehow cheaper than refitting the existing vessels slatted for scrap

Obviously having no idea what in the hell you're talking about is a requirement as well. You are making this easy.

16 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:25:17 PM by SampleMan
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To: alicewonders
You believe the US should be less dependent on foreign oil, but forbid drilling on known reserves in the US because of environmental concerns.
17 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:25:27 PM by johnandrhonda (have you hugged your banjo today?)
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To: CheezyChesster

You got burned on Hillary's whitewater deal too, eh?


18 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:25:55 PM by timsbella (Mark Steyn for Prime Minister of Canada!)
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To: timsbella

You have to believe that Freedom of Speach means being able to openly offer over the internet, precise chemical solutions to make (do-it-yourself) explosives, bombs, drugs and other illicit materials.


19 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:38:19 PM by CheezyChesster (Oop's maybe this one is supposed to be true !)
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To: CheezyChesster

OR the Freedom of Speech purchased by George Soros, who made the bulk of his billions in currency trading ultimately wiping out the economies of emerging third world economies. Funds which now support MoveOn and AirAmerica - I bet that's really comforting to the starving masses.


Or the other form of Liberal free speech which are either:

A. not to report news that would make Bush or conservatives appear in a good light.

B. distort the news to make light, passing news the continual sharp focus of the media (think Cheney)


20 posted on 2/20/2006, 3:43:19 PM by timsbella (Mark Steyn for Prime Minister of Canada!)
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