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Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex
The Register (Geeks ,,, Who Else?) ^ | Thursday 23rd February 2006 | Chris Williams

Posted on 02/24/2006 4:03:14 AM PST by texas booster

*** And you thought you just weren't doing it right ***

A swift one off the wrist - easy, convenient, refreshing - but just not the same as the real thing, perhaps.

Reporting in the journal Biological Psychology, researchers have now found a basis in physiology for the niggling dissatisfaction.

Levels of the hormone prolactin are lower after masturbation than intercourse. Prolactin makes us feel satisfied by counteracting the arousal messenger dopamine.

The levels of prolactin in the blood of subjects who committed an act of self-pollution after watching grumble flicks were just one fifth of those who had had actual sex in the lab. Still, either way, nice work if you can get it.

The scientists say the difference also explains why men may need a "recovery period" after forming The Beast with Two Backs, but can happily nip to the loo for five minutes, make the bald man cry, then get straight back to work.®


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: captainobvious; dirty; duh; filth; filthy; masturbation; perversion; perverted; selfpollution; sick
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A serious, scholarly effort to discover the true source of unhappiness in marriage. Or something like that.

I really need a British-English FReeper to translate this for me. I can't possibly understand what they are talking about. There seem to be some double-entendres here but I just can't quite grasp them.

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1 posted on 02/24/2006 4:03:16 AM PST by texas booster
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To: texas booster

File this one in the "obvious" file


2 posted on 02/24/2006 4:06:02 AM PST by Neville72 (uist)
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To: texas booster
those who had had actual sex in the lab.

For this type of work, I'll volunteer to be the lab rat.

3 posted on 02/24/2006 4:07:00 AM PST by peyton randolph (As long is it does me no harm, I don't care if one worships Elmer Fudd.)
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To: peyton randolph

What if your partner was Howard Dean? Still gonna volunteer?


4 posted on 02/24/2006 4:08:13 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!)
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To: Neville72

I wonder how much this cost to learn.


5 posted on 02/24/2006 4:08:24 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: texas booster
I really need a British-English FReeper to translate this for me. I can't possibly understand what they are talking about. There seem to be some double-entendres here but I just can't quite grasp them.

Basically it's telling you why it's not as good when you grasp it yourself.

By the way, all "acts of self-pollution" should be reported to the EPA.

6 posted on 02/24/2006 4:09:23 AM PST by DumpsterDiver
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To: texas booster

I wonder how big was the government grant for this study???


7 posted on 02/24/2006 4:09:24 AM PST by aShepard
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To: texas booster

Yeah but you don't have to buy it dinner,


8 posted on 02/24/2006 4:09:44 AM PST by DainBramage
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To: texas booster

Kind of like voting third party...it just isn't as good as the real thing.


9 posted on 02/24/2006 4:10:10 AM PST by CWOJackson
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To: 1066AD; A.Hun; abner; Advil; aft_lizard; ahayes; Alexander Rubin; aliquando; ambrose; amigatec; ...
Pinging All FReeper Folders. This "unusual" mid-week post is to let you know that our group is almost at 1,000 CPUs!

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10 posted on 02/24/2006 4:10:14 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120))
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To: texas booster

Laws against masturbation should be immediately passed. And go to the Supreme Court.


11 posted on 02/24/2006 4:11:09 AM PST by tkathy (Ban the headscarf (http://bloodlesslinchpinsofislamicterrorism.blogspot.com))
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To: tkathy

Its already against the law to choke chickens.


12 posted on 02/24/2006 4:11:55 AM PST by DainBramage
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To: texas booster

BTTT


13 posted on 02/24/2006 4:12:18 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: brwnsuga
What if your partner was Howard Dean?

No. I'd hold out for Laetitia Casta.

 

14 posted on 02/24/2006 4:12:22 AM PST by peyton randolph (As long is it does me no harm, I don't care if one worships Elmer Fudd.)
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To: texas booster; Dashing Dasher; Xenalyte; Lazamataz; Squantos; sit-rep
have now found a basis in physiology for the niggling dissatisfaction

Well, of course. If you're niggling it, you're doing it wrong.

15 posted on 02/24/2006 4:12:40 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: DumpsterDiver
By the way, all "acts of self-pollution" should be reported to the EPA.

Teen age boys are filling out the forms in triplicate as we speak.

I wonder if online submission is allowed?

16 posted on 02/24/2006 4:12:47 AM PST by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120))
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To: texas booster

Well DUH!


17 posted on 02/24/2006 4:13:29 AM PST by saganite (The poster formerly known as Arkie 2)
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To: texas booster

And you'll go blind, too.


18 posted on 02/24/2006 4:14:02 AM PST by Victor (If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert." -David Ben-Gurion, the first Prime Minister)
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To: E.G.C.

I've never had bad hand.


19 posted on 02/24/2006 4:14:33 AM PST by Paulus
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To: peyton randolph

LOL! Keep holding on.....


20 posted on 02/24/2006 4:15:13 AM PST by brwnsuga (Proud, Black, Conservative!)
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