Thanks for that. I think I've heard about starting them off really, really young--reading and music.
Found it!
Phonics in Utero
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/231/myword.html
(read the funnies below)
Well, following one of these talks, a woman came up to me and presented me with a full-page advertisement cut out of a maternity magazine. There, lying on a bed with a book, is a smiling, clearly very pregnant, blonde woman (in most of the parenting magazines I have perused, with the exception of Mothering, blondes seem to be the symbol of blissful future motherhood, and they all "carry their pregnancies well"), with the following headline: "You're never too young to learn. (In fact, you don't even have to be born!)" The copy reads, in part, "BabyPlus(R) provides your child lifelong benefits by beginning the learning process even before your baby is born. Our prenatal curriculum, comprised of 16 weeks of audio "lessons," is the first step in your child's cognitive development....We suggest you and your child begin the lessons between weeks 18 and 32 of your pregnancy. Don't miss the opportunity to provide your child this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." (The ad, by the way, gives no indication of how the curriculum is to be delivered - for that, you have to go to the Web site.)
At least they seem to understand that you can't get left back and be forced to retake week 29 before you are born. Detention goes with the territory. But if you don't start the curriculum early, "research" undertaken in Russia ("limited in scope and substance due to budgetary constraints during a time of profound political upheaval,", says the Web site) seems to indicate your child will have: poorer school readiness and diminished intellectual abilities; shorter attention spans; later developmental milestones; decreased ability to self-soothe; poorer sleeping patterns beginning in early infancy; poorer nursing; and will be less alert and relaxed as a newborn. Put it together, and one can quickly see that to not utilize the Prenatal Education SystemTM - "when learning begins" - is to subject your future Susie to child abuse and neglect, and a life of continuous woe.
The system costs $163.95, plus $14.95 shipping and handling, including the optional speakers and belt package "for those who feel their abdominal/physical size requires two sound sources for the use of Baby Plus(R)." (The blonde in the picture clearly wouldn't require it, but how would you be sure? And what would it mean to have a "feeling" about such matters? Do would-be mothers come specially equipped with such foreknowledge? What do I know - my second X chromosome is missing a leg.) The package is pretty inexpensive, I'd say, given that the benefits will last a lifetime. Didn't see a money back guarantee, though.
With the hair stiffening on the back of my neck, and blood pressure further from registering 'dead' than is normal for me, I sought to explore how it works. As this thing goes, I'm now an expert! What BabyPlus(R) claims to do is introduce lessons to prenates through "the only language they understand - the maternal heartbeat." What's not to love? It's not a vitamin, it's communication, and the technology speaks the language of the heart! And the baby learns to discriminate the BabyPlus(R) sounds from those of the mother, and is stimulated, and along comes little Einstein, only a happy, alert, relaxed, sleeping, nursing one who performs above grade level! There seem to be lots of satisfied customers - there are a bunch of testimonials on the product Web site from very happy, what seem to be first-time mothers and fathers. They even posted one with a 9/11 hook from a New York City Police Officer! None reports on whether the prenatal curriculum helped their kid get into Yale yet, but perhaps that is forthcoming. Anyway, check it all out at www.BabyPlus.com