Prison Visitor Allegedly Uses Vagina To Smuggle Live Grenade

AP ^ | April 20, 2006 | The Associated Press

[Westlander]

SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador -- A Salvadoran woman is in some trouble after she allegedly tried to smuggle into the country's main prison a military grenade and marijuana hidden in her vagina.

The cylinder was about 10 inches long and 4 inches wide. Officials didn't say what prompted them to check Lidia Alvarado, 44, but authorities have raised the security level at jails across the country, fearing inmates may be planning something.

[Westlander]

Badda Bing

[AmishDude]

Midge? Is that you?

[Right Wing Professor]

Bang bang Rosie?

[muawiyah]

Can we turn this into a doper thread?

I've been telling these guys that dopers can be really dangerous, yet they persist in their delusion that with no real government controls on the stuff, it'll be peaceful and bunny-rabbit like everywhere.

Right~! Woman was carrying a grenade and dope in her vagina!!!!

That's the kind of typical doper I have in mind on our doper threads.

[cripplecreek]

For those "not so fresh" days.

[SWAMPSNIPER]

"10 inches long and 4 inches wide"!

---

Mind boggleing!

[Ditter]

Ouch! That would make you walk funny.

[Mr. Brightside]

"Shall we frag now,
or should we frag later?"

[SlowBoat407]

What's the matter, she didn't trust ol' Gary?

[SlowBoat407]

You can learn a lot from Lidia...
La la laaaaa
la la laaaaa

[tophat9000]

...this story all ready got pulled once (to bad I think it's interesting)...so ...3.2.1

[ansel12]

Can't wait to hear Jay Leno's comments on this.

[Mr. Brightside]

Badda Bing

You mean,
Badda BOOM Badda Bing

[org.whodat]

Sometime all there is, "Just Damn". When you think you've heard it all.

[Mr. Brightside]

If I was a prison doctor, I would be afraid to say the words, "Turn your head and cough."

[martin_fierro]

Suspicions were raised.

[pax_et_bonum]

Ouch Ping

[martin_fierro]

Officials didn't say what prompted them to check Lidia Alvarado, 44

Maybe it was that silly grin on her face.

[xsmommy]

yoi!

[Mr. Brightside]

M67 Grenade

[Westlander]

Pulled ?

National Security question here !

[SlowBoat407]

Warden, I'm worried about the beaver.

[SouthernFreebird]

Good God they make some hearty women over there. I tell you what, my man would keep his a$$ in jail.

[pax_et_bonum]

All I can say is she's one heck of a woman.

[Old Professer]

About 125 cubic inches or 11/16 gallon by volume.

[El Gato]

Right~! Woman was carrying a grenade and dope in her vagina!!!! That's the kind of typical doper I have in mind on our doper threads.

So you think if dope were legal, even more women would carry it around in their vagina? Or do you suppose they'd carry it in their purse or shopping bag, like every other legal product?

Of course the grenade in another matter, but it seems to have been for the use of her boyfriend, who probably would have found some other way to get in trouble, probably a narco-rebel anyway, even absent the illegality of dope.

Personaly, I think they ought to supply inmates with all the dope (Not speed or any other stimulant) that they want, some would do nothing but stay high, and stupid, or they'd OD.

[andyssister]

Isn't that normal for most guys?

So I'm told. But there never seems to be a ruler handy!!

[Farmer Dean]

Sounds like a job for the Kegelmaster 2000.

[Old Professer]

Excuse me, 17/32 gallons.

[BILLNHILL MAKE ME ILL]

A Salvadoran woman is in some trouble after she allegedly tried to smuggle into the country's main prison a military grenade and marijuana hidden in her vagina.

What next, a mini van and a midget driver?

"If we can find the keys we'll drive out of here!"

[cabojoe]

2 quarts?

[Old Professer]

IUD Turns Into IED On Closer Examination

[Dilbert San Diego]

Do people here mainly respond to stories with wisecracks?

[justche]

didn't see you pinged yet....here ya go

[Thumper1960]

It was her rhythmic squeals, shrieks, rapid breathing and body spasms that alerted the "policia".

[KoRn]

"Midge? Is that you?"

ROFL!!

[SlowBoat407]

Do people here mainly respond to stories with wisecracks?

Only when they're wise-asses.

[Old Professer]

One gallon equals 231 cubic inches, the object displaces .545 or 126 cubic inches, so yes - just about two quarts by volume.

The human body is amazingly accomodating.

[Othniel]

There once was a woman named Alice

Who used dynamite as a phallus.

They found her vagina in South Carolina,

And both of her cheeks down in Dallas.

[NonLinear]

try again.

more like 12.5 sq in
or 125 cubic inches

[Old Professer]

Depends on the size of the crack.

[Thumper1960]

"Do people here mainly respond to stories with wisecracks?"

Wisecracks?

Ohhhhh, nooooooooo. This issue of the hung grenade and wacky tobacky is too hugh and series to wisecrack over.

[SlowBoat407]

Depends on the size of the crack.

I thought it was weed, not crack.

[SlowBoat407]

This issue of the hung grenade and wacky tobacky is too hugh and series to wisecrack over.

I'm stuned, STUNED!

[Charles H. (The_r0nin)]

Hmmmmm.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...?

[RichInOC]

"She love you good...boom-boom long time!"

[NonLinear]

Do people here mainly respond to stories with wisecracks?

Ummm, how much deep analysis do you think is actually appropriate for this story?

Which deeper ramifications did we miss? (Oh, bad choice)
What penetrating analysis do you suggest? (Darn, did it again)
Do you want to probe deeper into the circumstances? (Oh, heck, I give up!)