Posted on 05/04/2006 3:54:08 PM PDT by WKB
Gasoline prices are at an all-time high and experts are forecasting even steeper prices in the near future. I am not worried.
With all of the recent talk of record-high gas prices affecting the economy, more information is now being released about biodiesel as an alternative fuel. Biodiesel is a reformulated diesel fuel that is produced from animal fat, vegetable oil, or recycled restaurant grease.
I won’t worry about high gas prices because I live in Mississippi — the recycled-restaurant grease, deep-fat frying capital of the world. This biodiesel stuff is going to place us into the driver’s seat for the 21st century, just as cotton did in the 19th century. Folks, we’re back!
This is exciting. One can’t throw a rock in Mississippi without hitting an all-you-can-eat catfish buffet or fried chicken franchise. Hell, we even fry biscuits, Twinkies and Snicker bars down here. We’ve got more grease than any region on the planet.
Mr. Bush, we don’t need more foreign oil, we need more fried catfish restaurants.
Iowa and Nebraska only thought they had a leg up on the alternative-fuel solution with their corn-made ethanol. Mississippi now has the edge with recycled restaurant grease. Though we need to speak to someone about a better name. Biodiesel doesn’t exactly roll off of the tongue.
I propose Lardinol (Note: I hereby register the word Lardinol and want a percentage of all future sales for coming up with the catchy name). Not only does Lardinol® sound more elegant than ethanol, it does what all great product names should do — it tells the consumer what it’s about. Lardinol® is produced because we have “lard in all” of our food. Mississippi, it’s us. It’s here. It’s now. It’s brilliant. I’m proud.
The fossil fuels giants’ best days are behind them. Move over Saudi Arabia and Qatar, Mississippi is soon to become the petroleum capital of the planet.
The Nissan plant in Canton can do their part by retrofitting their automobiles to burn Lardinol®. Better still, maybe one of the Nissan engineers can develop an SUV with a built-in deep fat fryer in the third row seat. Americans could fry chicken gizzards while driving to and from work, never once having to stop at a gas station.
Ah, the possibilities.
So long “Black Gold,” “Texas T” — the Lone Star state’s oil monopoly is over. The wells will run dry. The glass skyscrapers in Houston will empty. Movies such as “Giant” and TV shows reminiscent of “Dallas” are long gone. Look for the new nighttime soap opera “Tutwiler” — the riveting weekly saga of a catfish farming family’s biodiesel dynasty in a small Mississippi Delta town — complete with the first season cliffhanger: Who shot Billy Earl?
And we thought being the fattest state in the union was a detriment. On the contrary, we have only been going back for seconds to do our part in helping solve the world’s energy needs. From now on, each and every Mississippian should line up at the fried seafood buffet a minimum of three times a week. It is in our country’s best interest. National security is at stake. Pile a few extra hushpuppies on your plate; it’s your duty as a patriotic American, and a citizen of the soon-to-be richest state in the union.
When the oil-rich nations’ power began to increase, they formed the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, better known as OPEC. As the Lardinol® craze catches on, and cars begin to burn recycled tater tot grease, we will need to form our own alliance. Therefore, as of today, I am establishing the Federation for Lard Advancement through Biodiesel, FLAB. Again, a name that tells it all, and again, I want a cut for creating the catchy handle.
I have one of Robert St. John's cookbooks, and it is fun to read.
Fattest state in the land.
GOOD!
A little competition is a good thing.
Y'all will keep each other on your toes.
It's nice to meet another one in Oregon.
I guess you could call me a "Missi-onian".
Though, notice which came first...;o)
Oh my gosh, you're an Oregonian? How wonderful! Maybe we'll bump into each other sometime! I was born in Mississippi too.....you must be my GOOD twin! No question who the evil one is, haha! :)
It's "Texas Tea".
Good stuff (8^D)
Look at your last post. You sure did repeat yourself.
Now YOU be like a piece of gum and take the nearest chew-chew!:)
I'm an adult--oh crap!! I forgot that.
Actually, I really haven't changed much since I was 17, that's for sure. Nowhere near 60 though.
And teaching first grade just keeps me perpetually young. Not being able to pass first grade will do that to you. It's like being stuck in a long Billy Madison movie.
Derllak and I love to insult each other in punny ways on the freepmail every day. It's a great way to hone my skills.
Derllak was the author of the most beautiful post I have ever read on FR. It was absolutely wonderful and it really kept ME humble. It was something along the lines of the best people being those good down-home honest type people.
Derllak meat Dixie, she's one of those people as is WKB.
They both are as wonderful people as you can ever meet.
This Mississippi crowd are some of the best you'll ever find. The only knock on Dixie is she thought Moog was for Go Old Miss. backwards. :) Creative suggestion though.
Ok if you mean using puns, the correct spelling is punny.
Puny means very small.
Something tells me you meant the one-n spelling.
Thanks for the compliment Dixie. You're a sweet Southern belle.
Derllak keeps me humble. She does some pretty good insults, but when it comes down to everything, she's as loyal as a moon pie.
fried biscuits?
Who said I wasn't a jester already? For you is jester round the corner.
Now all you southerners are going to be eatin' biscuits and gravy all the time:).
Oops, you used up one of your brain cells - only two left, use them wisely! Lol!
I have never had a fried biscuit....never even seen any dough fried except donuts and elephant ears or churros
catfish....no doubt fried in peanut or cottonseed oil is best
and Delta Pride...there is no second place for the best Cats!
graavy is a bit of a steady battle down here tween flour-milk-drippings sawmill, browned skillet, or red eye...all very nice
up north for our Soprano inclined friends, graavy takes on a whole new and tasty as well meaning...
I forgot..beignets
Give me grits any day.
I think in Mississippi, they should declare every day Fry-day, especially if your name is Derrick.
My brain cells?
Better than your brain sales or brain sails.
"Better than your brain sales or brain sails."
Heck if derllak had a brain sale it would be a 60 second sale ;)
She ain't all there :)
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