Posted on 05/04/2006 3:54:08 PM PDT by WKB
Gasoline prices are at an all-time high and experts are forecasting even steeper prices in the near future. I am not worried.
With all of the recent talk of record-high gas prices affecting the economy, more information is now being released about biodiesel as an alternative fuel. Biodiesel is a reformulated diesel fuel that is produced from animal fat, vegetable oil, or recycled restaurant grease.
I won’t worry about high gas prices because I live in Mississippi — the recycled-restaurant grease, deep-fat frying capital of the world. This biodiesel stuff is going to place us into the driver’s seat for the 21st century, just as cotton did in the 19th century. Folks, we’re back!
This is exciting. One can’t throw a rock in Mississippi without hitting an all-you-can-eat catfish buffet or fried chicken franchise. Hell, we even fry biscuits, Twinkies and Snicker bars down here. We’ve got more grease than any region on the planet.
Mr. Bush, we don’t need more foreign oil, we need more fried catfish restaurants.
Iowa and Nebraska only thought they had a leg up on the alternative-fuel solution with their corn-made ethanol. Mississippi now has the edge with recycled restaurant grease. Though we need to speak to someone about a better name. Biodiesel doesn’t exactly roll off of the tongue.
I propose Lardinol (Note: I hereby register the word Lardinol and want a percentage of all future sales for coming up with the catchy name). Not only does Lardinol® sound more elegant than ethanol, it does what all great product names should do — it tells the consumer what it’s about. Lardinol® is produced because we have “lard in all” of our food. Mississippi, it’s us. It’s here. It’s now. It’s brilliant. I’m proud.
The fossil fuels giants’ best days are behind them. Move over Saudi Arabia and Qatar, Mississippi is soon to become the petroleum capital of the planet.
The Nissan plant in Canton can do their part by retrofitting their automobiles to burn Lardinol®. Better still, maybe one of the Nissan engineers can develop an SUV with a built-in deep fat fryer in the third row seat. Americans could fry chicken gizzards while driving to and from work, never once having to stop at a gas station.
Ah, the possibilities.
So long “Black Gold,” “Texas T” — the Lone Star state’s oil monopoly is over. The wells will run dry. The glass skyscrapers in Houston will empty. Movies such as “Giant” and TV shows reminiscent of “Dallas” are long gone. Look for the new nighttime soap opera “Tutwiler” — the riveting weekly saga of a catfish farming family’s biodiesel dynasty in a small Mississippi Delta town — complete with the first season cliffhanger: Who shot Billy Earl?
And we thought being the fattest state in the union was a detriment. On the contrary, we have only been going back for seconds to do our part in helping solve the world’s energy needs. From now on, each and every Mississippian should line up at the fried seafood buffet a minimum of three times a week. It is in our country’s best interest. National security is at stake. Pile a few extra hushpuppies on your plate; it’s your duty as a patriotic American, and a citizen of the soon-to-be richest state in the union.
When the oil-rich nations’ power began to increase, they formed the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, better known as OPEC. As the Lardinol® craze catches on, and cars begin to burn recycled tater tot grease, we will need to form our own alliance. Therefore, as of today, I am establishing the Federation for Lard Advancement through Biodiesel, FLAB. Again, a name that tells it all, and again, I want a cut for creating the catchy handle.
Grits?
Yummmmmmmmm...
You have excellent taste. ;o)
Lol, in the 'hood! Back at ya, sista!
Keesler...you?
Ahhhh ... nothing like the smell of traffic to make you want to hit the fried chicken and biscuit joint down the road a ways.
Keesler?
EXCELLENT!
I love that area, and am so sorry it's in the state it's in.
Me?
Meridian...born and raised.
That's where my family, and my heart, is. ;o)
You are very nice.
I'm sorry I misunderstood you.
He who must not be named 'splained it all, Lucy. ;o)
It's alright, it's hard to know a person over the computer. I know a lot of people probably think I'm a bit of a butthead, but honestly I'm not too bad of a person. I'd never intentionally hurt anyones feelngs. The few who really know me here will attest to that. Don't be afraid of me. I talk tough, but deep down I'm a kitty cat! :)
aren't donuts fried?
I never eat them anymore.
Lardinol?.... LoL...
You are very gracious, derllak.
Thank you ever so much. ;o)
LOL at me.
And, please forgive me.
I've had extra babysitting duties lately, and have had scant time here.
I have to admit that I only scanned your post before the one to which I replied.
Of course, beignets and donuts are fried!
What good would they be if they weren't?
If you think about it, properly prepared cornbread is fried, too.
It's fried, and then baked.
If Southern women didn't have a good, seasoned cast iron skillet, we wouldn't be able to cook. ;o)
It's very good to see you.
It takes one to know one, Dixie! All Southern girls have got plenty of class! ;)
Derllak is one cool cookie. Sorry for derllak of information about her.
My dad lived in Lousiana for a time and mandated it for us when we were growing up. MMMMMMM! They are STILL our favorite breakfast dish and half the reason I go home once a year is to get some home-cooked grits.
My dad also mandated chopped liver too so he wasn't all perfect. YECH!
Oh, stop! The only reason you like me is cuz I call you Master! :P
Dixie is a sweetheart, too, and thanks to you I got to meet her. You've done your good deed for the week, Master Moog. Your humble servant thanks thee! Now get back in your cave, man!
Thanks for the ping.
Bump for later
Get back to my cave? Are you in the dark or something? You grotto be kidding. You aren't telling me the hole truth or maybe you're just going batty.
I see you two are still at it.
You really do make me LOL. ;o)
Don't just sit there and laugh......help me, Dixie! We can gang up on him and send him up the creek without a paddle. That should keep out of our hair for awhile! :)
I've got to team up with WK too sometime. Actually, maybe the 4 of us could "enlighten" some poor soul.
I'm not punny at all!
I must have been behind the door when the
Good Lord handed out that particular gift.
But, when you do team up, please ping me.
The least I can do is cheer you on. ;o)
Well, you sure aren't puny, that's for sure.
You're just cheer wonderful.
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