What it takes to be a jerk (Dave Barry)

Maimi Herald ^ | Dave Barry

[freedumb2003]

ne time I told them that they only had seconds to subdue their dog before our dogs spotted each other and a fight ensued

Videotape this and send it to your local Animal Control/Police. Almost all municipalities anc states have laws against having dogs off-leash and the fines in the last few years have become considerable.

[maxwell]

How about people who insist on splitting down the middle even though they got something WAY more expensive, and then not figure in a tip either. This happened to me once....once.

Yeah that's happened to me too. I don't go out to eat with people much anymore, and if I do one of us takes the whole tab anyway.

[sgtbono2002]

LMAO at least you are humorous and childish, Very entertaining.

[sgtbono2002]

I once saw a Harley set up with a sidecar that had ramp on it for a wheel chair. It was driven by the handicappd person. Its amazing what can be done with a little ingenuity.

[sgtbono2002]

The proper thing is to use it and when you have finished your business there move out.

[muir_redwoods]

He might have missed a few but the ones he got, he got right, dead-on

[muir_redwoods]

"It's your turn when the guy jerk in front of you leaves; not one second before, clean your own house and let the slobs live as they may.

Fixed it for you

[Cementjungle]

Do you ever fly Southwest Airlines? How about the guy who appears out of nowhere and merges into the "A" line just as boarding begins.

Despite the fact that they board planes from the rear first, they always seem to be half-full in the front by the time they start boarding even in the middle.

[muir_redwoods]

"I saw this happen with 2 people whose desks were facing each other. The one a-hole moved her stuff over-over-over, I guess because she was an important management intern, until it was on the other person's desk. That person, in turn, instead of just pushing back at opportune times, BLEW UP. Made the few days of conflict kinda worth going to work to see."

If it wound up on my desk and I didn't want it I would throw it out. Solves the problem.

[muir_redwoods]

"I will defend myself from jerks who call me cheap."

Get a lot of practice?

[sgtbono2002]

So I suppose you are another fool who tips waiters who arent worth a damn.

It has nothing to do with being cheap , It has to do with expecting good service and not paying for bad.

[Ditter]

How about a device that would lower the decibels and only allow them to get classical music? he he

[muir_redwoods]

I ask a question, you call me a fool

Who's the jerk?

[sgtbono2002]

I took your question as sarcasm, If it wasnt I apologise.

If it was sarcasm then you answered your own question.

Do I get a lot of practice at defending myself from being called cheap? I do not.

I also get good service when I return to restaurants where waiters do a good job, because they receive a good tip.

[pasquale]

This happened to me once....once. Exactly. Don't let it happen again. My policy is if my meal was more expensive, I tell the other person your share is $X (i.e. whatever their meal costs plus a reasonable amount for a tip. If I had the cheaper meal, I offer to split it down the middle. If the other person accepts that, I don't eat with them again. Don't even get me started on those folks who insist that the waitress figure out exactly who had what and how much it costs.

[SamAdams76]

Don't -ever- come near me with that attitude.

It's a variation on the "some of my best friends are black routine." How original.

[Mercat]

seems to me that the solution with the two desks is to make a small openning between them so that the stuff falls down between. I learned that from my cat.

[yeff]

I also get good service when I return to restaurants where waiters do a good job, because they receive a good tip.

I agree with you that the amount of a tip should be proportional to the quality of the service. Personally, extremely poor service gets 10% from me, rounded down to the nearest buck, and maybe a word to the manager. Otherwise it's 15%-25%, sometimes rounded up to the nearest fin.

[Scarchin]

I stink at posting photos and don't know photoshop, but I know I can count on Freepers. May I have a picture of George Costanza with some reference to the "Jerk Store" posted on this thread? Thank you very much.

[COBOL2Java]

The simple fact is that some Harleys are loud enough to make pedestrians ears ring....which as far as I'm concerned is the same as walking up and boxing a stranger on the ear - only without the actual physical contact.

I'm only for doing this when it involves drowning out the Fred Phelps group...