[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

I categorically don't date single/divorced/widowed moms. Kids are a bad scene for a bachelor about town, and I have no interest in raising some other guy's children.

Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky. I dated a woman who was divorced with a kid for several years and it clearly didn't work out. The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period.

[HitmanLV]

With choice comes options. There's no reason to seriously date a woman with a lot of baggage (especially baggage with names) when there are millions of young, attractive women with less baggage. Just makes sense. Guys who want to be open to that are free to date these women, but it's not for me.

Better them than me.

[No Blue States]

"The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period."

I learned that the hard way too, the 1st time around.
The youger kids will also resent you more than likely for not being their original dad.
But when the chips are down you are an outsider.

[visualops]

The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period.

Well, hopefully the parents will put the child first, and the "new" Dad won't be defensive and will rather try and be a unifying force. Children of divorce have it particularly difficult, with issues of trust and anger they have trouble resolving (as they often don't even recognize them). A strong man who takes his place as the head of the family can really pull a family together. Of course his wife must help and they have to work together and be honest and talk to each other. But that is true of any marriage. Kids need a mother and a father and I applaud any man who takes on the challenge of marrying a woman who already has kids. It's very tough sometimes. But I can tell you from experience I'm sure glad my second husband wasn't put off by my 2 children. They've turned out quite well, and I can thank him for a good bit of that.

[SuziQ]

The woman (rightly so) will always put the child first, period.

Good for you for realizing that. So many women feel like they need a man for their children, without realizing how tough it is on the kids to have another man around, when when they already have a Daddy. Probably wouldn't be the same with a woman who is a widow, because her kids likely wouldn't have the same animosity toward someone she's dating.

Still, kids need their Moms, if she is the only parent in the house, and the tension created for her by trying to please two different 'camps' is tough on everyone.

[Little Ray]

Married a woman with two daughters. She always puts the girls first - and so do I!