Great column. I'm always amused by conspiracy theorists. My own personal conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists are folks who lead such dull and uninteresting lives that they find it necessary to create a world of fiction in which they are among the few "elite" who really know the "truth". The irony is, of course, that their truth is fiction. And the reality is, of course, that our world is so complex and interesting that nobody has a need to create a fictional world no matter how boring they think their own lives are.
You are one of those who conspires against the people who know The Real Story. In fact, there is a special organization of people like you. It is very secretive. The only way you can find out about it is to do a Google search. And then it changes its name every so often to confuse the innocent. But you know that already, don't you.