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Wow. Quite an article. The only thing nuttier than the writers is Simcox.

I don't know if it's because it is late, or I'm tired, or what, but I am cracking up over that piece on Simcox. Three hilarious pages of strange, but these are my favorite tidbits so far:

"With his guns close at hand and visions of mushroom clouds blossoming darkly in his mind's eye, Chris Simcox punched the record button on the answering machine inside his Los Angeles apartment."
***

""I'm going on a great adventure," he told his teenaged son. "If I end up going to prison, you can always e-mail me.""
***

"While Simcox has been interviewed for hundreds of newspaper articles and television shows, little has been reported about his background except that he used to be a private-school teacher and that he claims to have been a hip-hop music producer and a professional baseball player who was once drafted by the Cincinnati Reds but had to quit the game after he had part of a lung surgically removed."
***

"In phone conversations with his son that his ex-wife recorded and submitted to the court as evidence of Simcox's mental instability, he challenged the boy to become "a man and a real American."

"You better stop playing baseball, buddy, and you better do something real, 'cause life will never be the same," Simcox thundered. "I'm going to go down to the Mexican border and sign up for the government for border patrol to protect the borders of the country that I love. You hear how serious I am."

Simcox's son asked his father what would happen to his cat, Moe. "Moe may end up on the dead pile, " Simcox said. "
(rotflol I think I finally found a tag line!)
***

""Take heed of our weapons because we're going to defend our borders by any means necessary," he said. "There's something very fishy going on at the border. The Mexican army is driving American vehicles -- but carrying Chinese weapons. I have personally seen what I can only believe to be Chinese troops.""
***

"In multiple interviews and public appearances, Simcox has dismissed the possibility that he's personally racist by pointing out that he once married a black woman and by claiming that he once chaired the diversity committee at Wildwood School.
(Head of School Hope Boyd, who has been at Wildwood since 1992, told the Report she had no recollection of Simcox holding such a post. "I do not remember that he was chair of our diversity committee," she said.)
"When I'm asked by reporters if I'm a racist, I tell them, 'Why don't you go ask my black ex-wife and my biracial children and the members of the racial diversity committee I chaired whether I'm a racist?'" he said at the October conference. "
***

"But his rivals don't buy it. "Simcox knows how to put on a good showpiece, and he looks pretty on TV, but he's all talk and no walk," said Jim Chase, leader of the rival, more hard-core civilian border patrol organization California Minutemen.

"He's more concerned with finding himself a sugar mama than anything else. I expect that if the bullets ever really start flying or if the going really gets tough, he'll abandon what he started. Until then, he'll go on pretending he's king shit of the Minutemen."
***

I have barely scratched the surface here. It is hilarious. And sad, but you can read that stuff here:

http://www.splcenter.org/intel/news/item.jsp?pid=166&site_area=1