Your problem is quite obvious. You are heavily invested in the hope that the Bible is a collection of fables, so you think of every possible reason why it can't be true because you don't like the implications of being wrong.
Your problem is quite obvious, you live in a world where there may as well be voodoo, magic, leprecauns and wood sprites.
You can't actually explain any tiny bit of your fable and you dogmatic beliefs won't allow you to actually think and reason.
You should go chase unicorns and sit out waiting for the great pumpkin since you refuse to live in a world of rational thought.
(except you sure embrace the technologies and discoveries that allow you to live in a comfortable information society. If we all thought like you, we would live in caves)