[stands2reason]

Please can I have your consideration? Some of us are not childless by choice.

[Mamzelle]

I've known several over many years without children--I don't ask them why unless they choose to tell me. Almost all appear content with their situation, whether it came by choice or by disappointment.

If it's any comfort, the couples without kids seem better able to maintain romance and friendly affection than those with It's that habit of putting the spouse as the most important person in one's life--without the competing demands of children, who often try to conquer by dividing.

[CindyDawg]

My sister couldn't have children. She told me once, I'm not jealous or anything but I see people with two or three and I wish I could have just one. I told her I would share mine with her and she could borrow them whenever she wanted to. She laughed as I intended her to. She passed away several years ago but she could not have been a better aunt to her special nephews. I sure miss her sometimes.

[mongrel]

This was an interesting article along with the comments that have followed. We were also not childless by choice, and decided to adopt after almost 10 years of infertility. The passing on of my gene pool was no big deal, because I think nurture plays an important role also.

One of the reasons we decided to adopt was because of a trait we saw in a lot of our childless friends. It seemed most of them were much more irritable about minor things. While this wasn't always true, it was something we recognized as starting to happen to us.

It's amazing how a child has changed us, it has made me more relaxed about dealing with all kinds of messes and less uptight about my routines.

Having a child has been an incredible and sometimes painful joy. While it may not be for everyone, I believe there's no better way to get bumped out of being the center of our own universe.

[TNdandelion]

My family has an "adopted" pre-elderly woman (widowed) who was unable to have children. She's almost 70 and her husband passed away 5 years ago. She is currently recovering from a double knee operation and a mild stroke and is relying on assistance from her two OLDER sisters and a few friends (my family) to fix her meals, clean her house and keep her company.

She is a wonderful woman and I hate that she is practically alone when she needs help the most. It wasn't her choice,though.

Generally speaking, if you can have children, then raise them right and you won't have to contract your nursing care when you are too old to take care of yourself and you'll be surrounded by plenty of company when everyone else has died or are confined to nursing homes.

Having children isn't only about guaranteeing help when you are old...it's about creating a family that takes care of one another all along the way.