MODERN MANNERS (Offering a Woman a Seat Is 'Creepy,' According to GQ)

New York Post ^ | August 18, 2006 | Liz Smith

[nickcarraway]

'WOMEN ARE equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant."

And that is a lesson in modern manners, according to the new issue of GQ (with Clive Owen on the cover). Glenn O'Brien and other GQ scribes weigh in on e-mails, cellphones, gym etiquette, dressing for travel, how to handle chatty seatmates, sleeping with your friend's ex, online dating, wedding gifts and how to treat gay people: "Gay people don't want to freshen up the world, they just want to be a part of it." (So don't ask for makeovers and fashion tips.)

Oh, but you certainly should open doors for women: "Why? To be nice, you mannerless ape!"

[BenLurkin]

Only in the increasingly barbaric urban areas would this common courtesy be considered "creepy".

[Peach]

This is absolute BS. All the women I know love it when men act like gentlemen and stand when they enter a room, pull out their chair, open their doors, etc.

I've never known a woman alive who thinks that good maners is creepy.

[JimSEA]

I'm elderly, they'll just think I am senile (likely correctly).

[BenLurkin]

As for holding doors -- I do that for everyone.

[apackof2]

On the other hand.....

[gridlock]

As long as you're not offering her a seat on your lap, I think you're in the clear...

[pbear8]

Not offering a lady a seat is creepy - PBear

[rockabyebaby]

What a crock O'crap!

[AnotherUnixGeek]

All the women I know love it when men act like gentlemen and stand when they enter a room, pull out their chair, open their doors, etc.

The problem, of course, is that you can't tell what the women you don't know think about these things. Until they figure it out and let the rest of the world know, I'll limit my trivial chivalry to holding doors open that I enter first - just as I'd do for any man or child.

[freepertoo]

This woman adores it when a man acts like a gentleman. It's a sign of respect...something in very short supply these days.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

[eyespysomething]

Or, like me, give the gemtleman a nice smile, say Thank You and graciously accept.

[SamAdams76]

I had my wife ask a gay neighbor for his opinion on drapes she was thinking about buying for the dining room and also his opinion on whether her purse went with her dress. Also, when I saw him the other day, I asked him if my T-shirt made me look too fat.

Hope this wasn't considered rude.

[-=SoylentSquirrel=-]

I thought I knew all the rules of common courtesy, but then I moved to Texas and found a concept I'd never been introduced to:

Upon exiting an elevator, allow the woman/women to exit first, no matter what their order of entry was into the elevator. If they are at the back of the elevator, stand to the side. Block the door open with your arm, if necessary.

I like the manners in Texas; it reminds me of California back in the '60s. The 1860s, that is.

[mockingbyrd]

I always thank a man who offers his seat or any other chivalrous act. I thank him for the courtesy offered to me and for his attempts to better society in general.

I was traveling last week with my three year old and one year old, and a gentleman offered to help me with my carry ons (back in the good old days) as we deplaned. I think it takes a lot of courage these days, I have heard women lash out or suggest that the man's motives were less than respectable. Pathetic.

[leda]

just an excuse for poor manners?

[Sam's Army]

"Gay people don't want to freshen up the world, they just want to be a part of it." (So don't ask for makeovers and fashion tips.)"

I can't remember the last time I honestly thought GQ was a "Man's" magazine. Prolly about the last time I watched SNL and thought it was funny.

[brytlea]

'WOMEN ARE equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant."

I would like to see a poll. I doubt this is the case. I'm a prefectly healthy woman (ok, a little overweight and yeah, getting a little old) and I am not offended when a man offers me his seat. What I think is, "Wow, a guy who has good manners, he must have had a great Mom!" And, I will certainly offer my seat to someone if they look for any reason like they could use it better than I. susie

[ElkGroveDan]

To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy

But a man donning eye makeup and false breasts is trend-setting fashion.

Can we re-wind this world to about 1946 and start again?

[Paperdoll]

Few things glorify me as a woman more than when a man opens a door for me, stands up when I enter the room, or offers me his seat.

[Thrusher]

I guess I'm a creep.

[Mr. Lucky]

A couple of years ago, I was in DC leaving the Metro station at rush hour. In slavish obedience to my upbringing, I held the door for the woman behind me so that she would exit first. She smiled and said "You must be from Indiana, thanks".

(and, of course, I'm from Indiana)

[brytlea]

When my boys were little I taught them to open doors for people....everyone loved it. They still do it to this day.
susie

[The Black Knight]

When I was a student at UNC Charlotte three years ago, and I held the door to a girl who was walking up. She mouthed off that "She didn't need a MAN holding the door for her". I just smiled and waited until she walked in.

I was in a hurry, so I actually ended up walking even with her as we approached a stairway. I just couldn't help stopping and saying "Ladies First".

I'll never forget the daggers that came out of her eyes. Just one of many episodes that caused me to date Asians.

[Juana la Loca]

"The problem, of course, is that you can't tell what the women you don't know think about these things."

You should be courteous and chivalrous to all women. If a woman acts like a raging, screeching harpy because of your good manners, then you should know that's not the woman for you.

[gitmo]

I recently offered to give up my seat for the head of HR in the company where I work. She turned to me and said I shouldn't do that, that we are all equal in the workplace. I politely told her my momma would have whupped me if she'd seen me take a seat like that. She told me I was a nut (in a joking tone of voice) and she took the seat. Then she whispered to me she loves it when a gentleman treats her like a lady.

[martin_fierro]

Only in the increasingly barbaric urban areas would this common courtesy be considered "creepy".

Once offered my seat on BART (SF Bay Area Rapid Transit -- commuter train) to a woman in Oakland, CA.

The look she gave me would've withered concrete.

Then again, we're talking Oakland.

[HHFi]

Personally, I think if you want to know the opinions of gay men, GQ would be a pretty good source.

[Screamname]

Well actually what I do if I am in a restuarant near a chair and see a woman about to sit down, is I ask her who she voted for last election. If she says Bush, I politely pull the chair out for her, let her sit, get the waiter for her, ask her if she needs anothing else, then tell her it is not often I get to serve such a beautiful woman, then I kiss her hand.

If she says Gore or Kerry, I pull the chair out then out again so she misses, then tell her sorry, I couldn`t tell if she was sitting or standing because of her fat.

The best was last week when I ran into this old lady with a walker who was wearing a Kerry button. I swear, when she fell on her arse, it made the sound of a squeak toy. Her family started screaming at me, so I pulled the "Sorry, I no speak a the English" routine.

[longtermmemmory]

only a metrosexual or a homosexual would not open the door or offer his seat for a lady.

Even a neadertall would do that much. Then again GQ is not much of a MAN's (in the heterosexual sense of the word) magazine.

[ElkGroveDan]

As for holding doors -- I do that for everyone.

Yep I do that here in California's Capitol (also letting them step off the elevator first). It's funny when half of the liberal Democrat women smile and half give me a dirty look or shake their heads. A few months ago I thought one butch babe was going to slug me.

[massgopguy]

Back around 2000, I offered a hand up to a woman who had fallen on the ice in Kendall Sq. in Cambridge MA. Guess what she said?

[patton]

I don't think it was rude, Sam, but...

[samadams2000]

Metrosexualism is creepy. So is GQ.

[Proud_USA_Republican]

There is nothing worse than trying to be gentleman to women in a liberal hellhole city like Seattle.

Half the time I open a door for them, they look at me with this digusted look as if I'm opressing them.

[brytlea]

If I ever heard a woman lash out at a man for being polite, I would probably have to say something to her. I don't think there are that many who do that stuff, but they sure do ruin it for the rest of us.
susie

[Screamname]

Doesn`t GQ stand for Gay Queer?

[puppypusher]

If a guy does everthing 180 degrees against what this magasine says he'll do just fine. Who are the morons that makeup the staff of this magasine and what says they are qualified to make these inanane statements.

Come on guy's be yourself.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

"Upon exiting an elevator, allow the woman/women to exit first, "

The elevator icebreaker I use is "OK everyone, please observe proper elevator behavior, eyes forward and no talking".

I've yet not to get a snicker.

[ElkGroveDan]

Upon exiting an elevator, allow the woman/women to exit first, no matter what their order of entry was into the elevator. If they are at the back of the elevator, stand to the side. Block the door open with your arm, if necessary.

That's not jsut Texas, that's just manners. I've lived in CA most of my life and I do that (see above)

[Stultis]

Sexual Harassment And YOU!

[TaxRelief]

We just returned from a trip to Disneyworld, and it was the absolute norm, on the shuttle buses, for all women to be offered seats by men. Furthermore, women with small children were even offered seats by women.

[weegee]

Definition of "Creepy". Sitting next to the Big Creep.

Snake on a plane...

[RosieCotton]

Dang...

Send in the creeps!

[Sue Perkick]

Personally, I think if you want to know the opinions of gay men, GQ would be a pretty good source.

True. Cosmo for men.

[JamesP81]

I think it takes a lot of courage these days, I have heard women lash out or suggest that the man's motives were less than respectable. Pathetic.

It's why I usually just hold the door. That's relatively low risk. As for helping ladies with groceries or something of that sort, I tend to restrict it to people I know at least a little bit. Offering to help like that can literally get you hit with a restraining order and a purse, not necessarily in that order.

[longtermmemmory]

Does Ford advertise in GQ as part of their pro-homosexual marketing?

(/s)

seriously, the fact that a "don't ask/don't tell" pseudo-men's magazine would be so anti-gentlmen WHEN IT HAS GENTLEMAN in its man is not just creepy, it is commerically suicidal.

Stick a fork in them, they are finished.

[sittnick]

I have never seen a copy of GQ in a real barber shop (not unisex). Men's magazines are about cars, hunting and fishing, firearms, poltics and computers. There's one other category that is employed by socially and morally immature men.

It's a man's job to treat women with the respect do to her sex whether it makes her feel "creepy" or not. Someone's got to take charge here, and it ain't gonna be panty-waisted metrocs at GQ. (The real ladies will thank us for it later)

[FReepaholic]

...according to the new issue of GQ ...

I don't live my life according to what a magazine tells me to do.

[sittnick]

do=due