Brain transplant?
I heard once about a Colonel who wanted to be a general. He arranged for a tough assignment, managing Army Computer systems. He knew nothing about computers, so arranged a traffic accident for a computer genius, with a following brain transplant.
The day of the operation, he didn't show up. His doctor, (a West Point classmate) called, to remind him to show up to prepare for surgery.
"Oh, I got my orders for General this morning! I don't need brains any more!"