[linda_22003]

Well, obviously we have had different experiences, and at any rate, my kid is theoretical, so it's really just a conversation about attitudes.

"your children wouldn't get the benefit of your advice to avoid the same mistakes you may have made?"

You're assuming that I think they were mistakes. They're pretty much just fond memories. :)

"what's "too young"?"

Certainly anything under the legal age of consent; since the kid is theoretical I can't give you an exact number.

"Emotional maturity usually does not go hand-in-hand with sowing one's wild oats."

As I said, your experience may differ from mine.

"what circumstances could you foresee where you would approve of your 18-year-old daughter having sex outside of marriage?"

I don't know. I've never even met her.

""Mr. Right" will (hopefully) be the guy who's man enough to marry her--and want to have children with her--before sex. That right there is an excellent way of weeding out the creeps and rogues."

Definitely a defensible point. Personally, I'd hate to find out after marriage that someone was terrible in bed, or hated things I thought were great (or vice versa).

"I know plenty of people who skanked around before they got married and are now divorced multiple times. Whereas the people who I know waited are all still hitched."

Could well be. Every marriage is an individual experience.

I have a feeling that part of our difference here (and only a part) could come from having grown up at very different times. If you've only been married six years, I'm going to guess that you're a lot younger than I am, and grew up at a very different time than I did.

[Antoninus]

I have a feeling that part of our difference here (and only a part) could come from having grown up at very different times. If you've only been married six years, I'm going to guess that you're a lot younger than I am, and grew up at a very different time than I did.

That much is true. Your generation was considered rebellious because they broke a lot of Western civilization's tried-and-true sexual taboos--and indeed celebrated themselves for doing so.

When I grew up, the things that your generation did were considered "the norm" for young people. Indeed, we were considered "odd" if we didn't do such things. As it turns out, the rebels in my generation were those who rejected the 1960s mantra of "if it feels good, do it" and chose to honor the traditional morality of our ancestors. And as the 1960s radicals are now in control of almost every major cultural institution in our country, the counter-rebellion continues to this day.

[Antoninus]

Personally, I'd hate to find out after marriage that someone was terrible in bed, or hated things I thought were great (or vice versa).

Personally, I've always thought that there were at least a dozen other factors that are more important in making a successful marriage than being "good in bed." That is only important if your first priority is self-gratification--and in a marriage, an emphasis on self-gratification is a recipe for disaster. Marriages based on the mutual giving of oneself for the sake of the spouse are always the most successful.

And for what it's worth, you don't often hear the "not good in bed" complaint too often from observant Catholic couples that have a bunch of kids...