‘Don’t let Starbucks drop from my hand’ [SUPER LATTE FROTHY PUKE]

Oh, I have it right. I didn’t misspell anything. The world in which we live is divided between two kinds of people. There are “Bury-orrists” and there are “Freedom sighters” in the world waging a war as surely as Palestinians and Israelis are constantly at each other’s throats, even when there is no need to be.

Well, it’s relative, I guess. I am not alone. There is a war going on between the two determined factions and there is nothing to discourage the rise or spread of either of these new phenomena in ideology.

A “Bury-orrist” is someone who walks into a book store, sees a book by an author they dislike – usually hate – and they go out of their way to bury the book from sight.

A “Freedom sighter” is the person who walks around a store and sees books and magazines buried behind other books and magazines, ands restores them to their just cause.

It’s not unnatural. I bet everyone does it, maybe at different frequencies. Some do it more than others. But it is certainly human nature.

I’ll bet that more than half the people who browse book stores and magazine racks are one or the other or both.

I see Ann Coulter’s face on a book and I have to gag. So when I put a book by, say, Ted Koppel over the Coulter book to bury it from public sight, I feel like I am serving the cause of justice.

Coulter is such a you-know-what. What irks me more than her idiotic conservative hypocrisy is her arrogance, which makes hypocrisy even that more disdainful. She puts her picture on every book cover.

Did you ever notice that the conservative demagogues almost always put their faces on their books. What is that about?

To me, burying her book is not “bury-orrism” at all, really, but a public service.

I can go down the list of victims of my “bury-orrism”: Sean Hannity. Alan Dershowitz. Any book with George Bush’s picture, Dick Cheney’s picture or Donald Rumsfeld’s picture on it, regardless of the author. Charles Krauthammer. Michael Savage. And Barney, the purple children’s dinosaur.

I was in a major Chicago book store just yesterday reorganizing the magazine rack. Islamica Magazine was turned upside down behind other publications in the Gay Rights section. I dutifully searched for and found every copy of Islamica Magazine, a new high quality magazine on Muslim life, and put them in a neat little row right in front next to The Nation and Progressive Magazine.

And then I go right down the line, looking for what I know will be victims of “bury-orrism” in book stores.

The Washington Report on Middle East Affairs is probably the number one target of “bury-orrists.” They grab all the copies and relocate them not just on magazine racks, but hide them in unusual, unrelated places like in the kid’s section.

You have to be exhaustive when looking for victims of “bury-orrism.” They are all over.

So I walk through the book store like I am a book store clerk, tipping my hat to other employees who give me strange looks, and customers who always ask me where certain book sections are: “The media section? Well, sir, you don’t want to poison your life by reading about the media. I suggest instead you go to the Middle East section and look up books by Edward Said.” … “Glad to help sir. Anytime. Serving the customer is my duty,” I say with a smile as the customer walks away. Briskly.

I put the copies of the Washington Report right in front along with the New York Times Sunday magazine, one of the most popular selection on most magazine racks.

I also go around and save copies of my favorite publication, Heeb Magazine, and also find prime real estate shelf space where I relocate them to give them exposure.

Heeb Magazine is one of the funniest magazines on Jewish life in America. And not just because I performed comedy for them at Second City in Chicago recently. This week. To a packed audience. Of Heebs, of course, who thought I was Puerto Rican until I was introduced as a Palestinian.

Convinced that the challenges of “Bury-orrism” and “Freedom Sighting” go far beyond my local book store, I often travel to other book stores for no other reason except to impose my political mindset on other book and magazine browsers.

What’s really neat is that the book stores now sell Starbucks coffee to customers to enjoy as they engage in “Bury-orrism” and “Freedom Sighting.”

Now, there is a whole culture of bloggers and Internet writers and forum posters who produce millions of words on this very topic. There are 11,800 references on Google for “hiding books.”

It’s become a cultural phenomenon driven by the polarized societies in which we live. Amnesty International, I have heard, is about to issue a denunciation that “Bury-orrism” and “Freedom sighting” are War Crimes.

“Bury-orrism” and “freedom sighting” are characteristics of people seeking to break free from the other more disturbing trends like terrorism, moral hypocrisy and the abandonment of righteous principles.

To borrow the war cry of the great “bury-orrists” and “freedom sighters” of our time, I say, “Don’t let the Starbucks drop from my hand.”

Ray Hanania is an award whining communist, author and wannabee comedian. Reach him at www.hanania.com .

Is this column for real, or is it just one of those tongue-in-cheek satire pieces?

While I have no doubt that there are some leftist moonbats out there that actually do this in bookstores (I have often come across well known conservative authors' books buried and hidden behind other books, typically in the "fiction" section) this column just gives away their whole strategy of censorship.

Yeah, the leftists love to preach that they are all for free speech, only their free speech and hardcore left-wing ideas are entitled to free speech.

For these knuckleheads, today its the burying of books in the current events sections of bookstores. Tomorrow its the wholesale burning of these books in large bonfires.

These self-described book buriers are sipping their totalitarian lite lattes right now, but the will try to work themselves up to the triple shot totalitarian lattes in the near future.
For a little bit of related reading, check out this top ten list at Human Events Online. It's the "Top 10 Books Liberals Would Like to Burn" Link over to: http://www.humanevents.com/sarticle.php?id=15003 Top 10 Books Liberals Would Like to Burn - HUMAN EVENTS In April, Human Events reported that Scott Savage, a librarian at Ohio State University at Mansfield, had been accused of “sexual harassment” after he suggested that incoming freshmen read four conservative books: "The Marketing of Evil" by David Kupelian, "The Professors" by David Horowitz, "Eurabia: The Euro-Arab Axis" by Bat Ye’or, and "It Takes a Family" by Sen. Rick Santorum (R.-Pa.). The faculty voted unanimously to file charges against Savage (the university later found Savage innocent). This incident of leftist intolerance prompted the editors of Human Events to compile the following list of books we think liberals would most like to burn. 10. "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain An American classic that has long been the subject of attacks by the politically correct. Banned from many libraries, and challenged in many more, for its use of the crude vernacular in dialogue. 9. "Treason" by Ann Coulter A cold, hard look at liberals’ “patriotism” in which one of the right’s most articulate pudits re-examines the left’s history of “striking a position on the side of treason.” Offers a defense of the left’s favorite boogeyman, Sen. Joe McCarthy, and a reminder that it was the Democratic Party that excused communism. 8. "Slouching Towards Gomorrah" by Robert H. Bork From the original victim of judicial “Borking.” Details the depths to which American culture has fallen and what it means. Hated for its reliance upon absolute truth, understanding of good and evil and recognition that modern liberalism is the root of America’s decline. Warns that “a nation’s moral life is the foundation of its culture.” 7. "Abortion and the Conscience of the Nation" by Ronald Reagan The first book ever published by a President in office. Details Reagan’s view on the sanctity of life, why abortion is not a right, and why the Supreme Court was wrong in its Roe v. Wade decision, comparing it to the Dred Scott decision for its denying “the value of certain human lives.” Is an invaluable example of moral leadership. 6. "Losing Ground" by Charles Murray Co-author of "The Bell Curve" blasts the social programs of the Great Society for their deleterious effects on America’s poor and minorities. Had a major influence in the fights for welfare reform in the mid-1990s. 5. "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis Adapted from a 1943 series of radio lectures from a leading Oxford scholar during a time when society was faced with a global war, is considered one of the truly classic works in Christian apologetics. Provides a reasoned argument for the Christian religion, based on man’s free will and a God of justice, grace and mercy. 4. "Wealth and Poverty" by George Gilder Self-described as “America’s number-one antifeminist,” Gilder offers an examination of why supply-side economics will best increase wealth and decrease poverty. Argues that the welfare state keeps the poor from achieving success by creating a welfare dependency and harms society by diminishing the role of fathers. 3. "The Road to Serfdom" by Friedrich von Hayek Based on the idea that all “collectivist societies”—socialist, National Socialist, Communist, et al—have the same roots and lead to the same place: tyranny. Details how giving “central planning” authority to the government reduces economic freedom of individuals and results in disaster. 2. "Witness" by Whitaker Chambers Autobiography of an ex-Communist who was the key player in the Chambers-Hiss case, known as the “trial of the century.” Tells how Chambers worked with then-Rep. Richard Nixon (R-Calif.) to expose Alger Hiss, a top State Department official who was also a member of the Communist Party and a Soviet spy. Confirmed by The Mitrokhin Archive. Left has never forgiven Chambers for taking down Hiss. 1. Bible by God The central work of Western Civilization, defines the relationship between God and man and is the foundation of faith in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Liberal groups, like the American Civil Liberties Union and People for the American Way, have sued to keep it out of government buildings, schools and public discourse.

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