Posted on 11/10/2006 7:13:49 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
CHICAGO -- Some parents are writing their college-age children's resumes. Others are acting as their children's "representatives," hounding college career counselors, showing up at job fairs and sometimes going as far as calling employers to ask why their son or daughter didn't get a job.
It's the next phase in helicopter parenting, a term coined for those who have hovered over their children's lives from kindergarten to college. Now they are inserting themselves into their children's job searches -- and school officials and employers say it's a problem that may be hampering some young people's careers.
"It has now reached epidemic proportions," says Michael Ellis, director of career and life education at Delaware Valley College, a small private school in Doylestown, Pa.
At the school's annual job fair last year, he says, one father accompanied his daughter, handed out her resume and answered most of the questions the recruiters were asking the young woman. Even more often, Mr. Ellis receives calls from parents, only to find out later that their soon-to-be college grad was sitting next to the parent, quietly listening.
Jobs counselors at universities across the country say such experiences are commonplace.
"My main concern is the obvious need of the students to develop their independence and confidence," says Kate Brooks, director of the Liberal Arts Career Services at the University of Texas. "I think it's great that parents want to share their advice -- and even better that students of this age are willing to listen -- but I think the boundaries get crossed sometimes."
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtontimes.com ...
I would automatically reject any job candidate who brought parents into the situation. What happens if those parents die? People have to stand on their own feet.
I would too, for murder.
People perceive the Democrats will "take care" of them.
What the hell happened to this country?
I can remember being resentful of my mother trying to help me cross the street when I was 4 years old.
I can't wait to do this to my kids! If they're embarrassed by me now in elementary school, wait'll I go on job interviews with them!
Well, it's one thing to have an interest, and quite another to impose that interest on the employers themselves. That does more damage than anything else.
>> you gotta' understand that when the parents have $100,000 and up invested in the kid's degree, they have a serious interest.<<
Yes, and they are proving it was a waste of money. It is not their presence that is killing the kid, it is the kids willingness to allow them to even be there.
I don't hire "mamma's boys" if I can help it. These kids are still children, if their parents are this involved. Companies want to hire adults.
Every American parent needs to like to George Carlin's "F#$k the Children." Children are getting entirely too much attention: "Parents are enrolling their kids into college before the know which end of the playpen smells the worst."
There is entirely too much meaningless structure these "cell phone" parents are forcing on children: "You need a helmet for everything except jerking off!"
The one requirement parents should make of their children is for them to look at the clouds and daydream--EVERY DAY FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR!!! Let them think for themselves.
I agree. If I made an offer and the candidate asked for time to discuss it with his parents, I would rescind it.
Too bad they forgot about the "letting the young adult make decisions on his/her own part."
I embarrass my kids (19 & 17) now by simply BREATHING!!!
I can hardly wait to see their reaction when I announce that I'll be joining them during job interviews.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
If I got a call asking me why "Jeffie" didn't get the job or promotion, I'd reply "Because his parents don't know or care when they cross the line, and he's afraid to tell them. He's lucky I haven't recided to replace him yet."
I know this school well and I find the students as a whole to be remarkably self-sufficient. It was at one time the National Farm School and there are still a lot of farm families who send their children here. They can major in small or large anaimals or different types of horticulture. These kids who grow up on farms learn to work at a young age. My guess is that these are the non-farm majors. Criminal justice is a big major there now, among others.
I would love to ask that man if he brought his resume and was interested in a job. Tell him that he seems to have something on the ball even if his daughter is a complete waste. (No, I wouldn't hire him. I would just want to publicly embarrass him and his daughter.)
Ping for later read...
I get lambasted by my children's teachers for not hovering over every assignment. I told them that if I hovered over their assignments in the fourth and fifth grade, I will be having to hover in the 10th and 11th grade. Why bother starting when I refuse to continue it.
So I guess I'm just a bad mom.
So would mommy and daddy be sharing a cube with their kid when they get the job? Would they "supervise" their kid's out of town business trips? Come on! These aren't kids. They are adults who are going to be spending a lot of money on therapy because they don't know how to handle themselves without mommy and daddy talking for them and holding their hand in difficult situations. I thought that tough situations like interviewing were supposed to be character building, not coddling.
Sounds like a bunch of union dolts not wanting to do their jobs.
She wrote my resume, gave me career advice, and sat in on my job interviews but she wouldn't give me a Pepsi ... just one Pepsi ...
Another hellish condition allowed by the invention of the cell phone.
Recently, I have seen this creep in with graduate students I work with, especially the daughters. The ones whose parents get involved don't always have the best reputation as it is. I have wondered out loud what will happen when they get jobs. Now we know...
You can't blame the kids. They've been raised with mum or da making all their decisions supervising every aspect of their lives, they've never had an opportunity to become people. My wife works at a college, she deals with helicopter parents all the time, she looks the kid dead in the eye and includes the kid's name in a question and before the kid can even open their mouth the parent is answering. That's the environment these kids have been in all their lives, they've probably never had a chance to order their own food at a restaraunt, pick their own classes or extracurricular activies in school, decide on their own clothes. Their parents never shut their yaps long enough for the kid to advance past age 6 in maturity.
Cell phones aren't nearly close enough contact for helicopter parent, about the only thing these parents aren't right there in the room for is trips to the bathroom for opposite gendered kids, and that's only because they'd get arrested.
Just remember, all the perfect children of FR are competing against these dolts...means more $$$ and opportunities for them...
I have two sons 18 and 20. They both know I am there as emergency backup, but they are adults. They can ask my advice, and do, occasionally, but they are adults. It's there decision about school, work, where to live, what to wear, when to get their hair cut.
I'm supposed to hover? My youngest wouldn't have let me hover if I had wanted to...
"Hmmm ~ you gotta' understand that when the parents have $100,000 and up invested in the kid's degree, they have a serious interest."
Ya, Mom and Pop are the co-signer's on the loan. In addition they probably took a second morgate on the house to pay for college. They are going to be damn sure Junior gets a job.
Junior does have to stand on his own two feet though.
I'm not blaming the kids. I am saying they are what they are and I would not hire one.
ping
>>That's the environment these kids have been in all their lives, they've probably never had a chance to order their own food at a restaraunt, pick their own classes or extracurricular activies in school, decide on their own clothes. Their parents never shut their yaps long enough for the kid to advance past age 6 in maturity.<<
That's why I would not hire them - at least right out of school. They need their expectations changed with a serious paradigm shift. Once another employer or three has worked that out of them, I may want to look at their accomplishments to determine if they would be a good fit in my company.
OTOH, it is becoming quite common for companies to treat their employees like children.
No parental guidance at all or insanely too much now.
Sigh.
But, I don't think I'd ask them to come to the job interview with me. I think that I'd automatically DQ anyone who brought Mommy to any interview that I've conducted.
It's astonishing that parents place that much value in what undergraduate college their child attends. It doesn't really matter that much - it's amazing that 'adults' don't have a grasp of that.
pathetic adult children ping
We're in agreement regarding cellular telephones providing way too much ease-of-contact. When I was in college, twenty-five of us shared a payphone in the hallway and contact with home typically occurred on a weekly basis. People raced to answer the ringing phone because it was such a rare treat.
I'm an adult and I love and cherish my parents. I would run through fire for them. They were similarly wise enough to stay away from my job interviews!
~ Blue Jays ~
For pity sakes... my daughter is disabled and I don't hover like that! How the heck are these kids ever gonna grow into independent adults?
some of it comes from legacy schools, I went to X you must go to X.
or
from the 1950's mentality that college educations meant something. In this day and age, most college kids have to take remidial classes in their first year!
We have too many schools becasue schools are cheep to build and have the protection of student loans which can never be forgiven. (why do we have so many law schools?)
I agree entirely. Actually, when it comes to legacies, I would strongly discourage my child to go to my college! :-)
We're reading from the same sheet of music. I turn to my parents for their insights because they are very wise. Similar to you, a candidate who visited my place of business and brought anyone to the meeting would be disqualified right on the spot.
~ Blue Jays ~
The dummacrats 'took care of us.'
Hmmm ~ you gotta' understand that when the parents have $100,000 and up invested in the kid's degree, they have a serious interest.""
Any parent today has more than that invested in just birthing the kid and getting it to age 18. The "college" costs are then added to above.
IF ANY applicant for a job where I was hiring showed up with their parent(s), I would not even look at the application, and I would take them aside and make it abundently clear to them that if their "child" was now 22 +, and needed their parents at this interview, why in the world would I think the "child" was anything more than still a "child".
The parents certainly couldn't be at my place of business and assist their "child" in performing the tasks of the job. What kind of co-dependent people are we creating in the USA in the past 2 generations? I have already concluded that we have bred the survival gene out of them.
Ya, Mom and Pop are the co-signer's on the loan. In addition they probably took a second morgate on the house to pay for college. They are going to be damn sure Junior gets a job. ""
Perhaps they are the co-signers.
In any event- the quickest way to make sure Junior gets a job is to NOT let him live at home, NOT make his NEW CAR payment, etc. Time for the birds to fly.
On the other hand if the kid showed up with his parents and the old man owned the company you'd bow and scrape and say "yessir, yessir, ....."
I could care less if my kids go to college. In 9 of 10 cases, it's a total waste. In fact it's worse than a waste. It's four years of learning new vices.
That's the point, they're there to give advice, not give your answers for you at interviews, write up your resume for you, do your homework for you, etc.
There are always exceptions...
It doesn't matter you'll probably get hit by a car anyway.
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