[SkyPilot]

These people are certifiable. Also, they try to sound poetic and speak in faux Olde English, but it just sounds stupid.

The vows for a Scientology wedding are more than a tad strange. Quoting from the book “The Background Ministry, Ceremonies & Sermons of the Scientology Religion,” MSNBC reports that the minister asks a bride:

And do you take
His fortune
At its prime and ebb
And seek
With him best fortune
For us all?
Do you?”

The minister then tells the groom:

Now, (Tom Cruise),
girls need clothes
And food and
Tender happiness and frills
A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat
All caprice if you will
But still
They need them.
Do you then
Provide?
Do you?