Both my wife and I have Ph. D. degrees in the physical sciences. Initially, we had the vision of dual large salaries. The birth of our first son changed that. After carrying our son for nine months, my wife decided she really didn't want "someone else" raising her children and wanted to be a homemaker while they were small. I fully supported her desire. Because of our educational choices, we were able to support our family on a single income. Note - I could have had more and larger "toys" that we men often desire if my wife had focused on her career. I am glad we made the choice to forgo the toys and focus on our family.
After our children were in high school my wife desired to return to her career. Sadly, in too many fields it is very difficult for a woman to take an extended 'leave of absence' and return. In my wife's case, teaching was a viable option after several years as a homemaker. Her income in no way fully reflects her education and ability but she sees that she is making a difference in her students' lives and we have what we need. I both acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices she made for our family -- and the positive consequences of her choices.
One key to our happiness is a mutual commitment to our marriage. Life definitely has it "ups" and "downs" and we both find it much better to face the challenges together, rather than alone. Successes are sweeter with a mate to share in them. Failures are less bitter with a mate for comfort.
I would also point out that I would not have wanted to raise our two children as a single father. Children know how to "push" their parents' "buttons," and will exasperate anyone. When one of us was nearing our wits end, the other would step in. The result is that we have raised two young adults who are finishing graduate level programs. Higher education by a woman is never "wasted" - even if she decides to be a full time homemaker. One never knows exactly how she will use it and whom it will benefit down the line.
I suspect if one totals the effect of each of my wife's and my education over our lifetimes, it is quite possible that she will have more influence through the investment in the education of our children (we home schooled from grades 3-8) and her current students than I have had in my career as a research scientist, despite my larger integrated income. Monetary compensation is NOT the ultimate standard from which to judge success.
Excellent post, thanks for sharing that. Your wife sounds like a very smart lady, I hope to follow in her footsteps soon!
It also sounds like she very lucky to be married to a guy like you!