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I meet women like you every day, just hitting their 40's, single and bitter because their "standards" are so high, no man could ever hope to reach them - and their relationships in ashes because they tried. They can't quite understand why they're still single. I hear them lament "He's such a nice guy, and like him, but...." - and it's always he doesnt make enough money, doesnt have enough of a status symbol job, doesnt want to be a mover and shaker on Wall Street, isn't motivated enough, isn't smart enough...whatever

I feel really torn about this sort of attitude. Yes, there are a lot of great guys out there that some women are writing off because they don't have the right job or the right attitude. But... I'm a software programmer and I'm fairly intelligent. I'm not sure how it would have worked out if I'd tried to marry a man who wasn't in a profession I could really look up to. Like an artist or something. For me, a big part of what I wanted in a husband is a provider so when we have kids I can stay home. I got that. My husband's an engineer, he's brilliant, and we'll be able to afford me raising the kids without many sacrifices.

Him being a good provider isn't why I love and respect him, but I don't know if I would have decided to love him if his job had been something I didn't respect.

Here's the other catch that I'm not seeing on this thread so far...maybe it's down further.

My best friend in high school had parents who did not have comperable educations. Her father was a plumber (making VERY good money) and her mother had at least a college liberal arts education. It was all good while their kids were growing up because when you have kids, you go to school events and you can always talk about your kids.

The problem was, once the nest was empty and it was back down to the two of them, they had to face each other again. These two had absolutely nothing in common. She liked the theater and classical music. He liked hunting, college football, and country music. They didn't have any common interests and as a result, they got divorced as 30 years of marriage because they realized they couldn't stand each other.

Yes, they should have stuck it out, but my point is, you're more likely to be happy when you marry someone of comperable education and with comperable interests because you have something to talk about, you have some activities you don't mind doing together, and you're more likely to have compatible goals. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've been told this and it makes sense.

“My husband’s an engineer, he’s brilliant, and we’ll be able to afford me raising the kids without many sacrifices.”

Congratulations. I have a boyfriend who is an engineer. He was apprenticed and is now a full time engineer. As for being a programmer, I see we have that in common because I’m running my own online business and it is mainly programming because it is a website, called “Business Links”.