Posted on 01/15/2007 7:16:36 PM PST by Lorianne
It's always the guy's fault, isn't it?
Unmarried men, Freepers...listen to this poster very carefully...this is the attitude you can expect from your wife, your ex-wife, their friends, and society. If you hit your wife, you're a beast...if she hits you, you must have provoked it.
These "ladies" will have you, legally and financially speaking, by the gonads. Think carefully before you put yourself in that position.
Well, sure, because we had it drilled into us day in and day out by those selling the American Dream that this is what it took to be "happy". You can't be too rich, too thin or have too many toys. Nothing much has changed. Different toys, new ploys.....but it's the same old game for most people, chasing the carrot on the stick.
If (and that is a HUGE "IF") I ever get married again I want to be absolutly sure My pen is the only one in the inkwell.
Sad but true. Of course, they may have been sold a bill of goods by the gal, and by society...who gives men a false sense of empowerment.
Because, you see, if a wife is unhappy, it's because you haven't been meeting her needs...if you did, she'd change. Why, just by being a non-drinking, non abusive husband, that makes you better than 50% of all the guys out there! (if the propaganda is to be believed) So, you see, it doesn't really matter who you marry, because if you're a good husband, any women will come around!
Nonsense, you say? Read the threads, read the magazines...attend some marital counseling.
He went through a phase with all his toys....and found it quite unfulfilling. We've been divorced 10 yrs and he recently married a very nice woman he's known for a little while. What's sad is he was on my doorstep trying to get back together...the week before he married her. That tells me he's not in love ....as much as he just doesn't want to be alone. For her sake...I hope it works.
Look, maybe there aren't a whole lot of great men or women out there to have those lovely little old-fashioned marriages. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if there are a million or six; it matters that there's one, and you find her.
There's a phrase I remember from a science fiction story somewhere: "If your girl's one in a million, that means there's six like her in a decent sized city". Odds don't matter. The kind of person you want to marry, wants to marry the kind of person you are. It doesn't matter that sorority girls only date hunky bad boys. It doesn't matter that girls in bars don't like geeks. It matters that the kind of girl who marries geeks (like me), marries geeks.
The only secret to finding that one true love is knowing what you're looking for. Sounds stupid, right? But how closely have you thought about the kind of woman you want? I mean really? I had a friend who told me two years ago I'd never get a date because my list of qualities in a guy was too long. Today I'm married to a man who matched all those and some I hadn't even hoped for.
Once you know what you're looking for, go where she is. Chances are she's not in bars. Chances are she's at church, online, in a class somewhere. But if you don't know what you're looking for, youll never find her. And that pessimistic "women are evil" attitude, won't get you anywhere.
Thanks Lori. I DO have my moments!
If I die tomorrow, I can truly say I have had a wonderful & blessed life. Heartaches? Sure, a boatload full (big boat).. but sometimes being pollyanna & skipping over the silly crap in life helps one to endure the tougher things along the way
Lots I still would like to do & experience but we just cant count on tomorrow being there.
Oh, this is ludicrous. Yes, there are some horrible parasitic wives on both sides of the Atlantic, and some poor beleaguered husbands. But I know quite a few Englishwomen who are fixed like this and the idea of anyone post-1935 saying "drinkie-poo" is insane. I think the author has been reading about Bertie Wooster and now she thinks the rich middle class talks like that.
They may treat their staff badly, too, but it's way too difficult and too much trouble to find new staff for a woman to fire staff casually. This tale is fictional.
Will you please add me to your ping list?
t.y.!
I've been single since the early 90's. Had a horrible marriage, a horrible husband too. I've not had the guts to try it again either.
It's not at all short-sighted. To marry bringing no marketable skills to the union is unfathomable. Choosing not to work is another matter. Having the skill to work at something is a must. It's for back-up.
Thanks for your post. You made my case even better than I did. 25 years of misery? Was he holding a gun to your head all that time? Or, was it 'for the kids?' Puh-leeze.
OTOH, he'll probably die the same: an angry, bitter man.
Well, I don't think any of us want to get to a point in our lives where we have seen and done everything we wanted to do. That would not be good. I have a list of things I want to do before I die, and I purposely made it a VERY long list. ;-)
Hmm, your reply has a tinge of anger in it. That's your problem now, not the deadbeats you dated then. Good luck ...
And I'm pretty sure she does exist, if only because statistically, someone to match every profile is out there.
Put it this way - are you, like Noah, the only righteous man of the generation? Not quite, no matter how bleak things seem. So why assume there's no girl out there like you?
I don't like threads where certain male freepers come on and paint these broad strokes that all women are evil or out to get men. You surely know better than that! You don't sound bitter, just a bit lonely and despairing and that's pretty normal. Just... don't make doom-and-gloomy comments about there not being any nice girls out there because it's really offensive to those of us who are (or were until not long ago). I have younger sisters out there, doing their best to find nice young men to settle down with. Being told that they don't exist and all unmarried women these days are sluts, is pretty darn offensive.
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