It is ABSOLUTELY neccessary that they do so.. and the issue is... not did they throw a tantrum, but did they do it again after being handled properly.
Uh huh. There you go with that broad brush stuff again. "Properly" depends on all manner of things -- not just your own particular ideas.
I think you're arguing with a moral relativist. Best to give up.
My twin daughters were the type of youngsters that did things over and over and over again even after being punished.
My son has never been that type of kid. He threw something off of his high chair, I told him no, and he never did it again. He ran out into the street one time when he was around 2. I picked him up, told him no, and took him inside. It never happened again. He had a tantrum at Toys R Us one time, I left before we bought anything. It never happened again.
My darling twin daughters were not like that. They ran into the street tons of times before they finally stopped when they were around 5. They threw food off of their high chairs and started giggling at each other numerous times. They would go outside and one of them would start stripping off their clothes, and the other would follow suit and they would run down the street naked and laughing. Then there was the real problems like getting unbuckled out of carseats.
The doctor's solution was time-outs, and I was doing it wrong if they weren't behaving. A psychologist recommended medication.
I ignored both of their recommendations. I didn't spank because when I tried it, it just made the situation worse. However, we did leave parks, sit in parked cars, made them walk home when they were fighting in a car (me following closely behind), and me just always trying to stay on top of my wild twins.
Finally, they started behaving. In fact, my wildest daughter got awarded at school for never getting in trouble at school for a whole year in 2nd grade.
I think some kids are just wild, and it takes a lot of time and patience to raise them into nice adults. My work isn't done because my kids are only 10 & 12.
It's not an unruly 3 year old I worry about. It's a wild 18 year old that I worry about.