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She earns more, and that's OK
KTLA ^ | 2/4/07 | Molly Selvin

Posted on 02/05/2007 7:28:59 AM PST by qam1

As education and job market patterns shift, more women are becoming breadwinners. Many husbands are fine with that.

Aaron Frazier married his college sweetheart Danielle four years ago knowing that she out-earned him by $10,000 a year. Now, that gap is even bigger.

But even though Aaron's accountant salary today is half the $90,000 his wife makes monitoring clinical drug trials, it still doesn't cause any friction.

"I think both of us are pretty modern," said Danielle, 29, of Antioch, Tenn.

"She does more cooking, and I do more housework," said Aaron, 30, adding that if they had a baby, he would start out being the primary child-care giver.

Couples such as the Fraziers — with the wife bringing home most of the bacon — are becoming increasingly common and accepted among the nation's twenty- and thirtysomethings, the result of shifting education and job market patterns, and new attitudes toward work, family and gender differences.

That could help accelerate the growth in the number of marriages in which women are the sole or primary breadwinners. Census Bureau data show that 25.3% of women in two-income marriages bring home the bigger paycheck, up from 17.8% in 1987.

Younger women, now graduating from college at higher rates than men and aggressively recruited by many employers, are becoming anything but desperate housewives. Some, like Danielle Frazier, out-earn male peers starting with their first jobs.

The salaries of college-educated women have risen much faster than those of male graduates, up 34.4% since 1979 versus 21.7% for men, according to Catalyst, a New York-based research group.

Among twenty- and thirtysomethings, more women than men have college degrees. The gap is widest among 25- to 29-year-olds, according to the Census Bureau, with 25.5% of men holding a bachelor's degree as compared with 32.2% of women.........

(Excerpt) Read more at ktla.trb.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: genx
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1 posted on 02/05/2007 7:29:01 AM PST by qam1
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To: qam1

I don't know if it's a generational difference, or what to attibute it to, but if my wife earned more than me, I'm 100% sure that my life would suck.
For 16 years she was a SAHM. When she got a job outside the home, things changed, her attitude changed. It's not anything I can't deal with, but if somehow she were to out earn me... life would get very bad.


2 posted on 02/05/2007 7:34:09 AM PST by brownsfan (It's not a war on terror... it's a war with islam.)
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To: qam1

Blah, blah, blah. A feminist fantasy. With rare exceptions, every marriage I've seen where the wife was the primary bread-winner was either bad or ended in divorce.


3 posted on 02/05/2007 7:34:33 AM PST by stinkerpot65
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To: qam1; ItsOurTimeNow; PresbyRev; Fraulein; StoneColdGOP; Clemenza; m18436572; InShanghai; xrp; ...
Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.

4 posted on 02/05/2007 7:37:53 AM PST by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: qam1

Whats the big deal...My wife has informed me whats hers is hers and whats mine is hers...so you see she already makes more than me...!


5 posted on 02/05/2007 7:38:43 AM PST by conservativehusker (GO BIG RED!!!!)
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To: qam1
My registered nurse wife has always made more than I and I have no problem with that, and just newly retired I like nothing better than doing housework and cooking easiest job Ive ever had.
6 posted on 02/05/2007 7:39:59 AM PST by bikerman (Loud pipes save lives)
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To: qam1

The women I've known who earn more than their men have tended to think they can do anything at all that they please - and I do mean anything. The results haven't been particularly pleasant in the long run.


7 posted on 02/05/2007 7:41:13 AM PST by KellyAdmirer
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To: qam1

"She earns more, and that's OK," by John Kerry.


8 posted on 02/05/2007 7:44:33 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Pelosi, the call was for Comity, not Comedy. But thanks for the laughs. StarKisses, NVA.)
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To: qam1

Prediction: Danielle will want to stay-at-home and raise the baby. If she can't, she will regret baby's time with the father.


9 posted on 02/05/2007 7:47:00 AM PST by stainlessbanner
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To: bikerman
and just newly retired I like nothing better than doing housework and cooking easiest job Ive ever had.

Housework is easy as long as there are no little ones living at home.

I retired 7 years ago, just as my wife was entering the work force. Her job and income have sky rocketed and it doesn't bother me in the least. She makes more than I made in my peak years.

I do what little house work there is to do and handle finances. It works for us but maybe not for everyone.

10 posted on 02/05/2007 7:49:06 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: conservativehusker

lol. Ain't that the truth


11 posted on 02/05/2007 7:50:48 AM PST by hydrotech1 (Stay Safe)
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To: qam1
I would have no problem with my wife earning more than me.
Of course we're secure in our marriage, been together over 25 years, almost 24 years married, and she has worked outside the home before.

I just don't see what the big deal is.

12 posted on 02/05/2007 7:51:32 AM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: KellyAdmirer
The women I've known who earn more than their men have tended to think they can do anything at all that they please - and I do mean anything.

My wife and I do anything at all that pleases us, the key being that we would not and do not do anyting that displeases each other. I have no desire to be unfaithful to her nor she to me. We rarely disagree and when we do it's about really minor things. We have been married a really long time though, there's a lot of love and trust.

13 posted on 02/05/2007 7:53:39 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Graybeard58

My little ones are gone from the nest so its just me and the cat,housework is a snap,love cooking,can do whatever whenever I feel like,love this retirement.


14 posted on 02/05/2007 7:54:04 AM PST by bikerman (Loud pipes save lives)
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To: bikerman
love this retirement

The only thing better would have been if I could have done it at about age 25.

15 posted on 02/05/2007 7:56:18 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: qam1

My wife has made more than I have for about 25 out of the last 30 years. I don't have a bad job either, Director of Marketing. She retired last year as a CEO of an electronics distributor at age 49. She now does Real Estate and still makes more than me, so far.

Whatever gets us to where we want to go.


16 posted on 02/05/2007 7:56:54 AM PST by socal_parrot (Someone left the cake out in the rain.)
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To: stainlessbanner

People should read Michael Crichton's Prey. If your wife makes more than you do, EVERYONE DIES! /sarc


17 posted on 02/05/2007 7:56:58 AM PST by gun_supporter
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To: stinkerpot65

How many marriages were those? The exceptions really aren't that rare. I've seen many marriages where the wife is the primary bread-winner. The thing is, if both spouses are bringing home some bacon, why should it matter who makes more? It's not like the husband is being a dead-beat. When it comes to parenting, the real concern is whether or not the household is stable. If the child feels he/she is comfortable with the working arrangements of the parents, then kudos.

My parents have been married for 26 years (27 this year), and my mother has been the primary bread-winner for all of them. That said, she would *never* knock my father for not making as much. She respects him for what he's done in his life, and he respects her for doing what she has to do to make ends meet. He still worked, and had a good work ethic (he's retired now, and she's soon to retire this year). I don't think I turned out badly as a result...it's not "feminism", it's life.


18 posted on 02/05/2007 7:57:19 AM PST by NASBWI (jetBlue isn't the only way to fly...but it should be.)
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To: Just another Joe

I don't see what the big deal is either. It's an ego thing I guess with many men - how DARE a woman be "better" than a man?

Many men still hate it when a woman "shows them up". "You're girlie" is a big insult; no such thing for girls like "you're boyey".

They're not very secure, and they're too hung up on "being manly".


19 posted on 02/05/2007 8:00:30 AM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: qam1
I'm perfectly OK with a woman earning more than me... In fact, I'm looking for a "sugar momma" who'll support me in the lifestyle I deserve. It doesn't even have to be a marriage. I'd be perfectly happy to be a "kept man."

Mark

20 posted on 02/05/2007 8:02:27 AM PST by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: brownsfan
I don't know if it's a generational difference, or what to attibute it to, but if my wife earned more than me, I'm 100% sure that my life would suck. For 16 years she was a SAHM. When she got a job outside the home, things changed, her attitude changed. It's not anything I can't deal with, but if somehow she were to out earn me... life would get very bad.

That doesn't say good things about your wife.

21 posted on 02/05/2007 8:04:05 AM PST by wizecrakker (Trying to behave)
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To: wizecrakker

"That doesn't say good things about your wife."

It is what it is. We all make compromises. On balance, she's a good person, but neither of us is perfect.

But I'm sure your situation is different, there are no shortcomings.


22 posted on 02/05/2007 8:10:36 AM PST by brownsfan (It's not a war on terror... it's a war with islam.)
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To: gun_supporter
People should read Michael Crichton's Prey. If your wife makes more than you do, EVERYONE DIES! /sarc

LOL! My wife has been looking a little odd lately, now that you mention it....lousy IT companies....

23 posted on 02/05/2007 8:11:56 AM PST by Future Snake Eater (Mosul, Baghdad, Karbala...'round and 'round we go...)
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To: Graybeard58

What's the age spread on you two?


24 posted on 02/05/2007 8:12:51 AM PST by misterrob (Jack Bauer/Chuck Norris 2008)
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To: stinkerpot65

"With rare exceptions, every marriage I've seen where the wife was the primary bread-winner was either bad or ended in divorce."

It comes back to what women think they want versus what they really want. Very few women want a man they can out earn. It's a very primative thing, that's built into us.


25 posted on 02/05/2007 8:13:36 AM PST by brownsfan (It's not a war on terror... it's a war with islam.)
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To: qam1

When my wife and I were first married, she made more than me and had significantly better benefits.

One day, she asked me if I was upset or threatened by her earning more. My answer: "You'd better earn more than me, or we're in deep doo-doo!"

Personally, I had no problem with it - the more she made, the better.

Postscript: my wife is now a SAHM for our two kids, and I have since promoted to a much better position which gives us the financial ability to do so. God has richly blessed our family.


26 posted on 02/05/2007 8:15:36 AM PST by Ogie Oglethorpe (2nd Amendment - the reboot button on the U.S. Constitution)
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To: the OlLine Rebel
They're not very secure, and they're too hung up on "being manly".

I would have to agree.
If they're that worried about being manly, they're probably really not.

Shoot, I haven't worried about being manly since my mid 20s.

27 posted on 02/05/2007 8:17:50 AM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Ogie Oglethorpe

Count that another man who's truly secure in his manhood. Unlike the whiners.


28 posted on 02/05/2007 8:18:28 AM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: NASBWI

"it's not "feminism", it's life."

It is now, that's for sure.


29 posted on 02/05/2007 8:22:39 AM PST by sageb1 (This is the Final Crusade. There are only 2 sides. Pick one.)
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To: misterrob

7 years.


30 posted on 02/05/2007 8:28:55 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: bikerman
I am also retired and my wife, as always, spends more than I do. The rules have always been very simple, I earned it, she spends it. {I've spent my share and since we've been married for more than 4 decades it's OK with me}.

She's at the casino today, working hard at making money {for someone}.

31 posted on 02/05/2007 8:35:25 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages - In Honor of Standing Wolf)
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To: sageb1

depends on who you talk to, I suppose. My mother's not a feminist, but she did what she had to do to get where she wanted to go. My father supported her, and they're both happy for it. He's still the head of the household, and we like it that way. This is now, not then. I'm sure, by the flip of a coin, there are women who go on a power-trip because they earn more than their male counterparts. If you're a man that doesn't like the idea of a woman earning more (regardless of her views on life and male/female roles in a relationship), then perhaps you should stay away from women with ambitions for a career.


32 posted on 02/05/2007 8:45:05 AM PST by NASBWI (jetBlue isn't the only way to fly...but it should be.)
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To: socal_parrot; All
"...Whatever gets us to where we want to go..."

Agreed. My wife has always made more than me (She is an RN) but that has never made one whit of difference to me. I just don't see how or why it should. Besides...I get to make all the big decisions...Who we should go to war with...how much money should be spent on defense...which officials should be elected, and so on. She makes all the small decisions...she decides what kind of car we buy...when to upgrade the mortgage...when to buy a new roof...when to replace the fence...how much to spend on those things...

33 posted on 02/05/2007 9:04:12 AM PST by rlmorel (Islamofacism: It is all fun and games until someone puts an eye out. Or chops off a head.)
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To: qam1
Younger women, now graduating from college at higher rates than men and aggressively recruited by many employers

I'll second that. Women dominate the workplace these days.

34 posted on 02/05/2007 9:06:11 AM PST by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
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To: bikerman
I like nothing better than doing housework and cooking easiest job Ive ever had.

Watch what you say. Women will throw a fit over that. That stuff is supposed to be the hardest job in the world!

35 posted on 02/05/2007 9:08:07 AM PST by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
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To: qam1

My brother-in-law's wife is a nurse. She can make as much in one night as he makes in a week as a corrections officer (maybe slight exaggeration, but close). Her check is usually for the bills and his is for savings or extras.


36 posted on 02/05/2007 9:09:13 AM PST by HungarianGypsy
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To: socal_parrot

"Whatever gets us to where we want to go."

You understand what some here don't - it's a partnership, and it's all for the good of the team. If the team members have different goals, that's a problem, whoever's earning the bigger salary.

My husband and I have been married for 20 years with incomes so close to each other that for several years, one pulled ahead of the other with a raise or a job change - first one, then the other. It's only in the last couple of years that my husband has pulled ahead by a sufficient amount (~$15,000) that I'm not likely to catch up. It all goes into joint bank and investment accounts, so who cares?


37 posted on 02/05/2007 9:14:02 AM PST by linda_22003
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To: Graybeard58

Wait a second: am I married to you? LOL

My husband sounds much like you do. We would never do something that is unpleasant to the other. It's just unthinkable. And we are just shy of 30 years of marriage. I only went back to full time work about 6 years ago (SAHM) and now, for fun, we challenge each other about things like who did better on the 401K this quarter. No competitive issues other than that.


38 posted on 02/05/2007 9:21:34 AM PST by trimom
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To: stinkerpot65
Blah, blah, blah. A feminist fantasy. With rare exceptions, every marriage I've seen where the wife was the primary bread-winner was either bad or ended in divorce.

Then I guess my father and my step mom are the exception. Happily married for 25 years and she makes about 3 times what he does.

Hell I keep buggin him to retire and go fishing.

39 posted on 02/05/2007 9:22:27 AM PST by Centurion2000 (If you're not being shot at, it's not a high stress job.)
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To: stainlessbanner
If she can't, she will regret baby's time with the father.

s/regret/resent/

40 posted on 02/05/2007 9:24:36 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is aborting, buggering, and contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: brownsfan

why doesn't that surprise me?


41 posted on 02/05/2007 9:26:01 AM PST by justche (When moderators aren't anonymous and ARE accountable, I'll consider donating again.)
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To: the OlLine Rebel
They're not very secure, and they're too hung up on "being manly".

Well, that's quite a psycho-analysis. I'd love to know what special research you've done (or mutant power that you have) that allows you to state so unequivocably exactly what thoughts and feelings every man in such a situation has. This will help me to differentiate your opinion from the rage-filled fantasies of the hairy-legged feminists.
42 posted on 02/05/2007 9:26:39 AM PST by fr_freak
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To: stinkerpot65

"Blah, blah, blah. A feminist fantasy. With rare exceptions, every marriage I've seen where the wife was the primary bread-winner was either bad or ended in divorce."

You must know many insecure men.

I know several where the discepancy was so significant that dad stayed home with the kids and mom worked. Everyone is still happy, married, and the kids are the most well behaved, interesting kids I've ever met.


43 posted on 02/05/2007 9:28:08 AM PST by Hoodlum91 (I support global warming.)
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To: NonValueAdded

LOL!!!!


44 posted on 02/05/2007 9:31:51 AM PST by Millee (Tagline free since 10/20/06)
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To: NASBWI

Where do children fit into the equation?


45 posted on 02/05/2007 10:01:54 AM PST by sageb1 (This is the Final Crusade. There are only 2 sides. Pick one.)
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To: qam1

My husband and I are neck and neck. We make basically the same $$, but his ends up putting more $$ into the bank account because I pay for our health insurance, dental insurance, etc. through my company's benefit plan.


46 posted on 02/05/2007 10:03:04 AM PST by Tamar1973 (Note to Hillary, Boxer and Fonda: The peas called, they want their pod back!)
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To: conservativehusker
Whats the big deal...My wife has informed me whats hers is hers and whats mine is hers...so you see she already makes more than me...!

Since we're basically the same size, sometimes I wear my husband's t-shirts but he would NEVER wear any of my clothes. so in a way your wife is right. LOL!

47 posted on 02/05/2007 10:05:05 AM PST by Tamar1973 (Note to Hillary, Boxer and Fonda: The peas called, they want their pod back!)
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To: brownsfan

I suppose it's not any more stupid than the assumption that the husband HAS to be taller than his wife. Ok, so it's as stupid.


48 posted on 02/05/2007 10:17:29 AM PST by Melas (Offending stupid people since 1963)
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To: Just another Joe
I just don't see what the big deal is.

Because you're relationship is not a power struggle. You get it, congratulations. :~)

49 posted on 02/05/2007 10:22:21 AM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: qam1
I've always out-earned my hubby. It's never been an issue for us. He is still the man of the house, and I'm still his adoring wife.
50 posted on 02/05/2007 10:23:50 AM PST by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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