Now I'm thoroughly confused. The other planets are getting warm while the earth is getting warm. This just can't be.
A renowned democratic politician explained this to me the other day. "Carbon credits purchased from other planets will be used to offset global warming on Earth." This made sense to me so I purchased several thousand dollars worth of these things. They are generally black and shaped like a credit card.
He explained that all I beed do was stick the carbon credits into the slot in carbon credit reader in my house and an amount of heat equal to the carbon credit value on the cards would be sent to the outer planets from where the carbon credits came.
Sounded like a spiffy idea to me. Then I asked this renowned politician and environmental saviour about this carbon credit machine with the slot in it and told him that I was sure there was no such device in my home and what should I do with the used carbon credit cards?
He said that if I signed up today I would get free installation of the machine and no rental for the first six months. He said not to worry about the carbon credit cards as the machine processed those by burning them and converting the heat to energy which was also transmitted to the outer planets. After the six month's free rental I would be charged $487.50 a month for machine rental with a 20% discount on any future credits. I signed right then and there.
I can'y wait to do my part for global warming and will surely vote for that fine Mr. Gore in the next presidential election.
Elwood P. Suggins
RFD Pigs Head Holler
Slidey Creek,
Kentucky