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Please pardon the choppiness of this post - some of the idiocy I see expressed here has me very upset.

For starters, I was homeschooled and raised by a stay-at-home mom. Likewise, my wife's mom opted out of college to stay home and raise her children. I know the value of "mom and dad". I also know that daycare isn't a godless drop-a-tot hellhole that some here seem to think.

My wife and I both work and no, we do not live extravagantly, and no she isn't a career-focused fem-Nazi.

He gets the best care, and we are both active and involved in all daycare events. Furthermore, he is loved. Truly loved and knows it. Not with overcompensation and guilt but with feeling, structure and Christian parenting.

What I am trying to say is that yes, you can stay home and raise your kids all you want, that's fine, but there are other good people just like you who don't have that option at the moment.

Oh, and our "stay at home moms"? Both divorced and now fighting hard in a world after having had to take entry-level jobs in thier forties and struggling with health issues. Neither of their husbands thought it wise for them to get an education or build skills that would allow them to survive better in the autumn of their lives.

I would have traded all my growing up underfoot if it would have allowed mom to be better situated now.

I would have traded all my growing up underfoot if it would have allowed mom to be better situated now.

Have you told you mom that? I would expect she would cry that you think so little of her spending some of her best years with you. Ask HER if SHE regrets it now. I think you will be surprised to find out she counts her present problems as nothing compared to the chance to have raised you in the way she thought was best.

Incidentally I am also a homeschool grad. So is my wife. I would rather live in a trailer and work the night shift so she could teach them than to send them off to day care of school or anything. No we don't have any kids yet but we will soon and it will be a huge pay cut when she comes home.

So it is all-or-nothing? You make it sound like either the wife doesn't get an education and she stays home with the kids OR she goes to work... Amazingly enough the world is not black and white. Plenty of SAHMs started out by going to college, having a career, then staying home.

In fact, that is just what my husband I plan to do. I've already got 4 years into the working world post-college and hopefully sometime in the next 5 years we will start our family and I will be a SAHM for the next 20ish years while I homeschool the kids.... Sure I will have to retrain a little when I go back to work, but a lot of that can be done while I'm working at home (I happen to be a programmer, so can take courses in the evenings/spare time online) and I can be ready to go back to a career immediately when the kids go off to college.

Unfortunately the point isn't that all daycares are hell holes. The point is that even the good ones are not ideal places for small children to grow up. We all make our own choices, you made yours. We are fortunate that human beings are resilient, and even daycare kids (hey, I was one) can grow up perfectly fine and be productive and happy members of society. The point is not the individual, it's the trend. You can disagree all you want, but the evidence seems to point out that there are problems with daycare, even *good* ones.
As for your snip at stay at home Moms, I was one of those too. I'm still married to the same man now for over 30 years. What does that prove? Nothing more than your example proves. Oh, well, maybe it proves I did a good job of husband picking, but that's another story.
Have a good day, and don't be so defensive. If you are happy with your choice, I wish you luck, and I suspect your kids are just fine.
susie

I'm sorry to see that some of the posts here, apparently including mine, have caused you to become upset. I'm equally sorry to see that you've chosen to label the life experiences and different perspectives of others as being 'idiocy', apparently because they are not the same as yours.

Naturally, I (and I'm sure everyone else here) are absolutely delighted that you have had good experiences with daycare despite the common alternate experiences of so very many. Congratulations to you and I hope that one day everyone can be as equally pleased with daycare and the associated issues as yourself.

What I am trying to say is that yes, you can stay home and raise your kids all you want, that's fine, but there are other good people just like you who don't have that option at the moment.

With all due respect: bullshit.

Pardon my French, but I simply can't think of any other word that fits. As a favor to the folks on this thread, would you mind detailing exactly why one of you can't simply quit their job to stay home with your son?

Not "won't" — can't.

Again, I'm sorry to be so rude. I just don't buy the claim that you have no other option than day care. If you care to try to convince me otherwise, I'm listening.