Posted on 03/26/2007 2:41:17 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
Sounds like you have issues about stayng home with your kids. No need to knock Cath26 down. My wife works and I'm grateful and my children are grateful she does. I have a woman working for me whose husband lost his job. She felt bad one day because she couldn't put her daughter on the bus the first day of school. I told her she has absolutely no reason to feel bad or guilty. She is supporting her family in a very meaningful way. She is going to work to provide health insurance and pay the mortgage, where would your family be if you didn't show up to work? She was doing what has to be done.
"They've actually convinced themselves that the responsibility of child-rearing is demeaning to women -- never taking into account the organizational, psychological and motivational skills that caring stay-at-home mothers acquire"
well it's easier to look down on someone than to find a reason to look up to them.
You're a moron
that's good news.
Maybe the attitude is softening.
I know the so-called advisors who are supposed to give career advice still tell women they shouldn't discuss their "personal lives" and apparantly they consider taking time off to raise your own kids a "personal matter".
So, sadly, there are many smart, educated, gifted women agonizing over the large gap in their work history.
They're probably much more mature, prepared, and employable than they were before raising kids - but they aren't made to feel that way.
About 2 years ago (give or take) we were a bit strapped, so I started looking for an outside job. I found one I was well qualified for, doing something I actually enjoy.......but then I sat down and looked at the salary, and then the actual costs of taking the job. In the long run there would have been absolutely no financial benefits to us because it would have changed our tax bracket, we would have to pay for child care, the additional cost of my commuting, wardrobe upgardes, etc.......
Needless to say, I didn't even bother applying and decided to toally eschew the hose and heels office world. I'm setting up a roadside produce stand to sell homegrown fruits and veggies and the preserves I make from them.....and don't have to worry about what I look like for work, because I won't have to leave my own yard!!!
As a man, I'd never ever ever get involved with a woman who wanted a "career" over her own children. If she makes enough for me to stay home, fine, otherwise, I work and she stays home... but you put your dogs in a kennel when you don't have time for them... you DON'T do that to your kids.
Not remotely uncommon to find out the second income brings little to no real gain to the family bottom line in many cases... and can sometimes even hurt it... by the time like you realized, you take into consideration, taxes, day care, commuting, clothing, food etc etc.
Let alone the incalculable cost of someone else raising your children.
"Whose looking down? Do all of you have this need to put other people down to build yourselves up? I think there are some self esteem issues going on here"
You need to read the context of who I was responding to and why.
You are getting defensive and reading more into the post than what is there.
yes - there are folks out there who look down on stay-at-home moms and who think caring for children all day every day is a terribly denigrating job.
I never said all professionals have this attitude if that is what you are wondering.
"About 2 years ago (give or take) we were a bit strapped, so I started looking for an outside job. I found one I was well qualified for, doing something I actually enjoy.......but then I sat down and looked at the salary, and then the actual costs of taking the job. In the long run there would have been absolutely no financial benefits to us because it would have changed our tax bracket, we would have to pay for child care, the additional cost of my commuting, wardrobe upgardes, etc.......
Needless to say, I didn't even bother applying and decided to toally eschew the hose and heels office world. I'm setting up a roadside produce stand to sell homegrown fruits and veggies and the preserves I make from them.....and don't have to worry about what I look like for work, because I won't have to leave my own yard!!!"
The exact same thing happened to me.
I found a night job so the kids were always with a parent.
Very tough - but necessary.
As hubby received raises over the years, I cut back on my hours.
After awhile he earned enough for me to stay home.
We also didn't take on a huge morgage - drove used cars - didn't have cable tv - basic phone service only - shopped at consignment shops.
you do what you have to do.
Since that time I have become close friends with the mother of my daghter's best friend, we have become each other's childcare provider when the need arises.
Well obviously need for care on occassion occurs, but its a large difference between a once in a while thing so mommy can go to the doctor or be out of town for a day or two.. and 8-10 hours a day every single day.
Later read/pingout.
dear thomas - you are just looking for a fight that isn't there.
I was responding to a poster's comments concerning the book Generation Me where the author stated...
" "you might find yourself cooped up with young children every day and let's face it -- who is really prepared for that?""
Yes - I have personally experienced this attitude among many women.
yes - I have personally had many women say to me "how can you STAND IT? being with kids all day every day!"
So yes - in my personal experience I have come across this attitude.
In my professional life I heard women discuss stay-at-home moms in the same fashion. Two female bosses I had made their opinions very well known.
So - no it isn't a delusion and no - I am not making the claim that all professional women have this attitude.
Most women are not all one thing or another.
Most women take some time off here and there - work part-time, or go back to full time when the kids are older.
Scot is a freeper - why not ask him yourself?
Jeez . . . I don't even have children, and I coulda told 'em this.
I think your point is well-taken. I was raised in a home with a mother who stayed home. I was a little disruptive in class (class clown type) but otherwise a good kid, as I've been told. My kids (boy/girl twins, now 15 years old) spent part-time in day care as my wife worked a 20 hour week as a pharmacist in an HMO. Neither of them is disruptive, and both have always been good students (my son is a very able student, while my daughter, while not with quite as much horse-power, has a very good work ethic).
I think the distinction is parental involvement in the child's life. Those who have to, or choose to, put their kids in day care often (not always, of course) find it difficult (or too much of a bother) to involve themselves in what is going on in their child's lives. That, I think, is the decisive factor, not the mere fact that they are in day care. Another factor is the kind of day care setting the child is placed in.
Kids can be shown what is proper behavior in various settings. One good place to learn this is Sunday School. While the rules are usually a little more relaxed there, the atmosphere is one of caring and nurture. And it doesn't last that long, so the child can become acclimated to what is expected. Couple that with learning to be quiet and still in church, and the likelihood of such a child being disruptive in school is greatly reduced.
If a child gets the attention he/she needs from home and elsewhere, he/she won't have to seek it by disruptive behavior in school.
Just my humble opinion.
So I should ask ????husband? I'm not looking for a fight, are most of you from rural areas? or small towns? Maybe that is the difference. I live in New Jersey and the cost of living is high. So maybe you just don't have the ability understand other peoples lives. But keep your mind closed and nothing will fall in.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.