[CottShop]

"And so thar I wuz, Just a po white nappy headed ho in da slums of Arkansas when along came Bill wit two mo ho's on his right and left and he dun drops dem wenches like hot whitehouse documents and askes me to go to dinnah wit him... then later that night we stopped by the cigar store and.... well I guess I shouldn't go there- wouldn't be prudent concidering your age I guess - That's when i knewd I'd got my suggar daddy. Dreams can come true little feller when yous be willing to sell yer soul."

"So, you say your mom is pregnant again, huh? Look, I know you'd like a brother, but my goodness- think of others for a change- if we can talk your mom into an abortion it will be a huge victory for free choice- stop being so selfish you little twit!"

[Tulsa Ramjet]

“It was that durn green astro-turf glued in the back of his el camino that did it. That big pink b@stard had done and won me ohver (new southern twang). Course, he had other b*tches in heat sniffing around his lap-board two room house at night when I come to visit during college, but I told billy, there was not future with a Sonic carhop, and finally.....finally after his last day of his second term, well, actually up until,...well...last week, he said he had ho’d enuff rows of melons and he wanted to be ambassador to the World. That silly boy. Little do people know he is actually the Antichrist,..but shhhhh...that’s OUr little secret.”