For some reason I think of the name Lileks when I read this.
Excellent, but you forgot our illustrious American cousins:
‘Following the recent kidnapping of US soldiers by Al Quaeda the US has raised it’s threat level from “What threat?” to “That airliner is a bit near that building”. If things continue to deteriorate they are expected to raise it again to “Invade whoever looks most guilty” followed by the highest alert state which has not been used since the politicians lost the war in Vietnam and left the world wondering why a superpower couldn’t beat some gooks with pointy sticks, called threat level “Goddammit, we saved your asses!”. :D