Replies

I grew up in the South and my early career was spent in Connecticut and later New York City. I was struck with the tremendous cultural differences. No question that people in the south are kinder, more considerate, and more polite. If a polite and courteous society was ever dominant in the Northeast (and I think it was) it is gone from the big cities for sure and mostly from the small towns, too.

One thing that Northeasterners no longer understand and are flabbergasted when they encounter it in the south -- a civil public society where people are expected to be kind and considerate of one another, and that includes most strangers in day to day contact. What southerners grow up understanding is that when most people in a society try to behave pleasantly and politely and kindly to one another in public, it rewards everyone with a more pleasant social space in which to operate. Northerners tend to find these kindnesses and politenesses given to strangers with suspicion. They think it has a personal connotation -- that is, that an individual is being nice to them because of some personal response to that individual. Thus, they think it is "phony." Imagine that? Good manners and decency are phony. People should be cold, brash and hard.

What people need to understand who don't quite get it is that when most people behave in a kindly, civilized manner to another another, their behavior is as much for the public good as it is intended as a personal response to a particular individual. Thus, it is not phony. It is one person's contribution to a better social environment for all. Why can't Yankees understand that?