You know, I’ve actually been giving a lot of thought to Ron Paul’s babbling about how the war isn’t ‘Constitutional’, about how we need to do this or do that, ‘avoid foreign entanglements’ like our Founding Fathers urged, etc., etc., and I suddenly realized that I’ve heard this story in a different version:
Many years ago, a friend of mine picked up a 1940 Ford Coupe from the original owner in Bangor Maine, and due to it’s fine construction, thought he would drive it home to San Diego California. A long trip to be sure.
The first few hundred miles weren’t bad. But the original hydraulic brakes went kaput in Boston, so into a MIDAS brake and muffler shop he went, and they advised him to upgrade the brakes, and actually installed a mid 90’s Ford hydraulic brake system that really improved the braking qualities of the car. After paying the substantial bill, my friend was back on the road.
By the time he got to Richmond Virginia, the 1940 3-speed manual transmission was howling something fierce, and the clutch wasn’t doing so well, so into a transmission shop he went, and they sadly informed him that the tranny was toast. Fortunately, the transmission guy really knew his stuff and told my friend that he could install a late model Ford C-4 automatic with an adapter plate, and get him on his way for about $1500 total, and he wouldn’t have to even clutch anymore. A day later, my friend was cruising down I-85 at about 50 mph.
Now you just have to know that by the time that ‘40 Ford got to Atlanta that the factory original 221 cubic inch V-8 with 6.15 to 1 compression finally gave up the ghost, and my friend was sitting on the shoulder waiting for a tow truck to take him in for repairs at a Ford dealership that was more than a little surprised to see a ‘40 Ford coupe being brought in for warranty work.
Naturally, the warranty was expired (since the car only cost $825 originally), but the mechanics were enthused about the classic car in their midst, and when they noticed the latter day C-4 automatic that had been installed, they told my friend that it would be child’s play to drop in a late model 302 V-8, bolt right up to the C-4, and he would have some serious horsepower to boot.
$2000 for the 302, and $1000 in labor later, my friend was tooling out of Atlanta, west bound, with nearly triple the horsepower. Of course the tires, while in good shape hadn’t been subjected to such wear and tear in a long time, and my friend (acting preemptively) pulled in to a Goodyear tire dealer and upgraded to some steel belted radials and a set of custom chrome reverse wheels, since his ‘40 Ford was looking more like a hot rod all the time.
Then there was that custom exhaust shop two blocks away, and a few hours and some cleverly bent exhaust pipes later, my friend was feeling even better about his new ride.
As he made his way across Texas, he ended up getting a new AM/FM/CD sound system installed, the heat demanded that air conditioning be added, and by the time he was alternately cruising down historic Route 66 and I-40, things were getting more and more comfortable and up to date.
My friend and his ‘40 Ford Custom Rod were only about 50 miles from the California line, when the electrical system went out (it had been upgraded to an alternator system with the installation of the 302 in Atlanta), so my friend pulled over to the side and called up Triple-A on his cell, and told them he suspected that the voltage regulator had gone out.
Then along came a stranger, walking in the same direction my friend was going. Stopped to talk, and told my friend that he knew how to fix his ‘40 Ford. Naturally my friend was interested and listened intently to the stranger, who stated with absolute conviction that the only thing my friend had to do was to pour some distilled water into the 6-volt battery, shake the battery a bit, tighten up the generator belt, and my friend would have plenty of electrical current to get him going.
My friend tried to explain that there was no longer a 6-volt battery in the Ford. The stranger refused to believe him. They raised the hood. The stranger said “well no WONDER you’re having problems, this engine is too big for this car, there is supposed to be a 221 cubic inch V-8 in here producing no more than 85 horsepower, and you’ve got WAY too much engine for this car!”
My friend tried to explain that the 302 was a necessary replacement for a tired old engine that had no life left, but it was futile - the stranger went on “and what are you doing with an automatic transmission in this thing? you need to put the original manual tranny back in!” Again, any and all logical explanations fell on the deaf ears of the stranger.
It got hot outside, so they got back in the car, where the stranger informed my friend that air conditioning, AM/FM/CD players with custom speakers, (and a CB radio) had no business being in a ‘40 Ford, and the stranger stated in unequivocal terms, “you need to start reading your owner’s manual for this car, and follow the manufacturer’s instructions for care and maintenance!”
My friend was just about beside himself, unable to explain to the stranger that the ‘40 Ford was no longer able to operate as it was intended more than 60 years before, and the stranger was not going to give one inch, now yelling at my friend “you need to return this car to it’s original condition, get those silly big wheels and tires off of it, put the factory single pipe exhaust back on, and get rid of all these parts that you have no business fooling with!”
Mercifully, the Triple-A tow truck was pulling up, and my friend got out and told the driver “please, hook this thing up and get me outta here, I’ve got some nut here giving me a hard time, he thinks it’s still 1940 and that all I have to do is read the owner’s manual!”
The tow truck operator laughed, and said “ohhhh, I see you’ve met Ron Paul have you? That idiot wanders this highway all the time, refuses to believe that we’re in the 21st century, c’mon, let’s get outta here, I saw a ‘57 Chevy a few miles back, Ron will be all over them soon enough!”
My friend eventually got home to San Diego, and never looked back.
So the moral of your story is "Don't buy a Ford" ?
So what is the point of your story? That we should overhaul the constitution the way the 1940 Ford Coup was overhauled?
Lots of effort you took in telling that story.
Truth is that a running original 1940 Ford Coupe is worth much more then a customized piece of crap that breaks down all the time because your friend has no sense or respect for the car. If he wanted to take it home, he should have trailered it.