Mother whale: O.K., it’s probably safe for us to return to open oceans now.
Baby whale: You think so, Mom. What about the pods of killer whales we were fleeing from?
Mother whale: Experience tells me they’re probably gone by now. Plus we’ve done our little p.r. skit that we talked with the other humpbacks about doing.
Baby whale: You mean the schtick where we let the humans think we’re lost, so we can get a gauge on where their current humanity is towards us?
Mother whale: Right. It’s always a risky task, but someone has to do it.
Baby whale: You really think they thought we were “lost?” How the hell can we get lost? We swim thousands of miles every year from one end of the earth to the other?
Mother whale: Watch your whale song, jr, and yes, these humans believe they are far superior to us.
Baby whale: But even as an infant, my brain is several times as large as theirs, do they really think I need all these brains to filter krill?
Mother whale: They have incredible egos, my dear, especilly the democrats. Those are the humans with the smallest amount of working brain area.
Baby whale: Are they the ones on the tour boats that try to reach out and pet us?
Mother whale: Yeah, mostly.
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