Are you kidding me? I WANT to be lectured by Nicole Scherzinger! She's the really, REALLY HOT PCD!
Mark
Posted on 07/04/2007 4:23:15 PM PDT by Pokey78
An email arrives. It is from Rosie, an old friend, who is visiting London from Bristol this weekend. "Bad news I'm afraid," reads the email subject. My stomach lurches. My mind races. Rosie is dying. Rosie's cat is dying. Rosie's cat is dead. Rosie is dead. I grit my teeth. I prepare to vomit. I open the email.
"I don't think I am going to be able to meet you this weekend as I have now got tickets for this Live Earth concert, and then I know you are flying off on holiday the next day . . ."
Phew. What a relief. I'm not going to get to see Rosie because she's too busy saving the planet and I'm too busy destroying it, not because she's dying. But wait, no . . .
This is bad news, actually. Very bad news indeed, though only for her. For it is Rosie, not me, who is going to have to spend a Saturday in the middle of July shivering in the rain as she is lectured on global warming by James Blunt, Cameron Diaz and those well-known climate change experts the Pussycat Dolls (sample lyric: "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"). All in that famously eco-friendly structure, Wembley Stadium.
Live Earth is a series of seven concerts across seven continents on July 7, 2007 (genius) that hopes to "combat the climate crisis". An honourable intention, I am sure you will agree, but one wonders if getting Madonna to write a song about said crisis especially for the event is the best way to "deliver a worldwide call to action". Though I suppose it might work if it gets us all to switch off our televisions (as long as we remember not to leave them on standby).
Like Al Gore, the event's organiser, I believe that we should live greener lifestyles. I'm just not so sure that Live Earth is the way to go about it. The belief that a series of rock concerts is going to make the world suddenly sit up and listen is not only patronising and pompous; it's unoriginal and ineffective, too.
Almost two years ago to the day, Live 8 happened. I was sent to report on it for this newspaper. I remember standing backstage with a colleague, eating the free lobster, watching Paris Hilton as she sipped the free champagne cocktails.
I seem to recollect that the cost of the designer handwash in the posh Portaloos would probably have kept a family of seven in Africa in food for a month.
And as is often the case with such events, it was Pete Doherty lurching about on stage on drugs that people remember most about that day; and, just as little has changed with Doherty since then, little has been done to eradicate poverty since Live 8. The white wristbands everyone wore in 2005 have simply been replaced by shopping totes that like to point out they are not un-biodegradable plastic bags.
It's easy to blame celebrities for the downfall of society, and I wouldn't want to go as far as to blame them for the destruction of the planet.
But every time a self-promoting star signs up to a cause such as this, and believes that he can use his fame to do something positive, it makes me want to take their cause a little less seriously. So if Al Gore really wants to change the world, he could do worse than realise how mind-blowingly arrogant it is for Madonna, Bon Jovi and The Police to believe that, by playing a few mediocre songs, they can save the planet.
“being lectured on global warming by James Blunt, Cameron Diaz and those well-known climate change experts the Pussycat Dolls.”
Very funny! And oh so true. Cameron Diaz wouldn’t know what a book was if you read it to her.
Aren’t they forgetting the obligatory naked, nose-ring wearing savage from a tropical rain forest? You can’t have a earth-lovin’ concert without one. A laser light show is no substitute.
OK, but what-the-hell kinda whacko name is “Bryony”?
Her mom wanted a Irish boy? An Irish setter?
First off, you can’t save something that isn’t in danger.
And even if it was, if this works as well as Live Aid did for ending world hunger, then we’re screwed either way.
Does anyone have the lyrics to Culturcide’s “They’re Not The World”?
The parody that goes “They aren’t world, they're not the children, they’re just bosses and bureaucrats and rock and roll has beens...”
Mojo Magazine recently listed it among the 100 top protest songs.
Not true. Cameron Diaz seems to be a fan of Mao’s Little Red Book like many Hollywood reds.
Are you kidding me? I WANT to be lectured by Nicole Scherzinger! She's the really, REALLY HOT PCD!
Mark
The only saving this world needs is from Islamofacism but do you think the Lemming Left is gonna go anywhere near that?!
Even my stepmother, who’s a roaring left-winger, felt she was concerned about Iran than global warming.
Cameron, baby, you can come to my house any time and lecture me, I don’t care if you’re illiterate!
Is Carmen Diaz still getting raped every day?
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