'Star Trek' Extra, Fascist, Horseshoer, Dark Priest: The Other Presidential Candidates

MTV ^ | July 5, 2007 | Gil Kaufman

[tlb]

Jonathon Albert "The Impaler" Sharkey — 43, Satanist/pagan who is the founder, national chair and commanding general in the 1st Vampyre, Witches, Pagans Party Regiment (2006-present); former U.S. Army soldier; former board member of Hillborough, New Jersey's County Executive Republican Committee; dark priest/ advisor to the Church of the Followers of Lucifer; founder and national chair of Vampyres, Witches, Pagans Against Impaired Driving (2005-present).

Gene Amondson — 64, Prohibition party, Amondson has spent the past 20 years dressing up as the Grim Reaper with a whiskey bottle in one hand and a scythe in the other to preach the ills of liquor.

Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government.

Joseph Martyniuk Jr. — self-described inventor and computer guru. No further information was available because his campaign Web site link was broken when we clicked on it.

Donald Kenneth Allen — 60, Advocates shipping drug users to Holland.

Yaphet Kotto — 67, Yes, that Yaphet Kotto, the actor best known for playing a no-BS federal agent chasing Robert De Niro in "Midnight Run" and appearing in such films as "Brubaker," "Alien," "The Puppet Masters" and "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare." The Web site for his exploratory committee lists as its main goal the popularizing of "vibration politics,

Keith Russell Judd — 49, Aircraft engine inspector, sound engineer and salesperson at Grandma's Music & Sound, Judd has run for president (1996, 2000, 2004); mayor of Albuquerque; and governor of New Mexico. Former member of the Federation of Super Heroes (1976-1982).

[tlb]

Yaphet Kotto may have a shot. His vibration politics gets good buzz.

[B-Chan]

Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government.

A photo of il Duce himself, complete with jazzy headgear.

[Darkwolf377]

As the Tancredo people say, don’t just vote for someone because he’s “electable,” vote for who you WANT to win...

[IslandJeff]

Please, don’t forget this gentleman:

http://www.ray08.com

[SlowBoat407]

Jackson Kirk Grimes

That's Jackson ROYkirk. You are in error. You did not detect the mistake. That's two errors. You are flawed. You are imperfect!

[2ndDivisionVet]

Wasn’t he in Clerks and Clerks II?

[Dragonspirit]

They all seem preferable to Obama, Edwards or Clinton.

[Caipirabob]

Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government.

Oh yeah, I know that guy? Wasn't he in "The Producers"? It's how I always imagined Hilter...always half a step away from a gloryhole... ; )

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

LOL! Nomad. . . Tan Ru. . .Nomad. . . Tan Ru!

[B-Chan]

“Think about... music...”

[BigCinBigD]

It’s..Space happy. It thinks I’m it’s mother.

[GonzoGOP]

"Jonathon Albert "The Impaler" Sharkey" I can just see the political add. Why keep voting for the lesser of two evils.

[XavierXray]

When der Fuehrer says, “We ist der master race,”
We HEIL! [honk!] HEIL! [honk!] Right in der Fuehrer’s face!
Not to love der Fuehrer is a great disgrace,
So we HEIL! [honk!] HEIL! [honk!] Right in der Fuehrer’s face!
When Herr Goebbels says, “We own der world und space,”
We HEIL! [honk!] HEIL! [honk!] Right in Herr Goebbels’ face!
When Herr Goering says, “They’ll never bomb dis place,”
We HEIL! [honk!] HEIL! [honk!] Right in Herr Goering’s face!

When der Fuehrer says “We never will be slaves!”
We HEIL! HEIL!, but still we work like slaves.
While der Fuehrer brags and lies and rants and raves
We HEIL! HEIL! and work into our graves.
When der Fuehrer yells “I got to have more shells!”
We HEIL! HEIL!, for him we make more shells.
If one little shell should blow him right to [hell]
We HEIL! HEIL!, and wouldn’t that be swell?

[SkyPilot]

Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government.

Sounds like an Anti-Christ Wannabe.

[Thrownatbirth]

Warren Roderick "Bob, Warren G." Ashe — 50, ran for president in 2000 and 2004, former U.S. Navy pilot and "Earth Ground Computer Specialist" in the Army National Guard, president of the Air Force's U.S. Anti Drug Task Force (2000-2007) and president of the Marijuana Legalization Committee.

Huston Control, yes, we see the problem.

[SubGeniusX]

I know who I’m writing in ....

http://www.zod2008.com/

[Taichi]

Keith Russell Judd — 49, Aircraft engine inspector, sound engineer and salesperson at Grandma’s Music & Sound, Judd has run for president (1996, 2000, 2004); mayor of Albuquerque; and governor of New Mexico. Former member of the Federation of Super Heroes (1976-1982).

---

I’ll bet those super powers come in handy when he’s inspecting aircraft engines when he’s not busy organizing the CD’s at Grandma’s Music.

[-=SoylentSquirrel=-]

Dude, you're awesome.

Come this election, all will bow down and prostrate themselves before the Mighty President Zod.

[RabidBartender]

I know who I’m writing in ....

http://www.zod2008.com/

Dude, this has your name ALL over it