MIT finds cure for fear

MIT finds cure for fear

Quick; overnight express several doses to the democrat congress. Time is of the essence.

And while I am blabbing away, here is a tip that might or might not help someone about a stolen debit card or checks. I wasn't too worried about somebody using my debit card because I didn't have my pw in my purse, but there was something with one of my cards, and when I got part of my stuff back, it looked like they had tried to use it, testing out a password that was not in my handwriting er printing.

With the stolen checks, at first I didn't know which checks may have been fraudulently cashed, but some man found the checkbook minus cover in the street with tire tracks over it, I remembered the last check I had written before I was lucky enough to get the book back, so I knew which check numbers to cancel if I had had to cancel the whole book. Only the two were missing, and the dumb idiots left the tissue copy in there for the two checks they had written only I couldn't read the amount, but the payee. I tried to alert them, but only got to one because there were two many local businesses with the other name, one of which I patronized, so I told them, but they didn't know which one it could be either. I wanted to tell them to save their camera tapes, but by the time the police got to that, it had already been overwritten at one business, they cycle them every two weeks and it was past that. I got a notice from a collection outfit in Texas and a letter from one business for it all where I was going to be in trouble for the bad checks, it took a long time to straighten it all out.

But they could have cleaned out my entire account that weekend before I could get in to put stop pays on checks because I have to go in person for that. Now some financial institutions may help you with that on the weekend. Mine doesn't.

So I have an extra account set up, along with savings, that doesn't automatically suck overdrafts out of it. It is frozen to all but me unless there is some court order, don't have paypal which does it on your main account if you sell and the buyer does a chargeback on you. So I shifted most of the money that was in my checking account into that account online, leaving a little so my own outstanding checks wouldn't bounce because they might hold me responsible for charges on those. At least they wouldn't get it all then and that way.

Stop pays on stolen checks there happens to be no fee and there is insurance to cover the amounts where I bank, probably most banks, BUT I would have still had to WAIT for more money from somewhere and might be more complications. If they clean you out, I had nothing. No money at all. No cash at home. All I had was a new book of checks so used that to get me by in very small amounts and could only do that because the business knew me. They got my cash (only $4), and I couldn't borrow cash on my credit cards because I was cancelling them and didn't have them for a machine duh, and I couldn't use my debit card because obviously I didn't have it. No card, the machine won't work even if you are the only one with the pw.

Some of you would be miles ahead of me on this stuff, but I recommend that you set up an account where you can transfer your funds from one account to another 24/7 and that one is of a type where the bank can't automatically use it to pay an overdraft when no human intervenes like on a weekend.

Then if the financial institution screws you out of charges for stop pays or doesn't come through with their insurance, you will buy some time to sort it out and might not have to beg from a friend or relative, etc.

I don't know what you do if you are travelling and lose everything. Hide some cash or extra cc in the hotel with your luggage or hide some cash on you or both or something else that will work I didn't think about. If it is your passport, I think you have to go to an embassy, no way around that that I know.

Keep your car keys in your pocket (or something) and not in your purse so if they get your purse, you can drive your car, in my case, directly to the police station. I need to wire a spare car key somewhere under my car, but not sure where to do it in case I lose those myself. I keep a spare set at home. Spare house key I hid where I'd have to break in a little to my own house to get it, couldn't think of a better place to hide one that a thief might find and that I could get at in all kinds of weather. I don't want a key rock or one of those magnetized things my parents hid under the mailbox when I was young.

The only fear I had when I was young was of spiders. In my mid-20's I suddenly developed irrational fears of heights, driving over bridges (even low ones) and flying. (And I wanted to be a pilot!) Even when I'm in the middle of a panic attack, I'm looking at myself with frustration and anger and trying to talk myself down.

Doesn't do a darn bit of good.

In a strange way, I'm glad it happened to me. Before that I was Miss "Just get over it" and had no compassion or understanding of how powerful the mind's tricks could be. I'm grateful to have been humbled a bit. Would've been a *real* tragedy to have gone through life as an a**. ;-)

The only fear I had when I was young was of spiders. In my mid-20's I suddenly developed irrational fears of heights, driving over bridges (even low ones) and flying. (And I wanted to be a pilot!) Even when I'm in the middle of a panic attack, I'm looking at myself with frustration and anger and trying to talk myself down

My daughter and granddaughter are afraid of them, too. I think what is destined to be one's cross in life usually hits by late teens to 30. I think fighting panic attacks makes them worse, but when you are with somebody or driving on the road, it is hard. I'm afraid to fly and heights now, too, but I was a daredevil kid. For some reason, I can handle bridges, but avoid them during rush hours whenever possible. I'm afraid of getting trapped on one behind an accident or traffic delay and having no way out. Otherwise, I can handle almost any bridge but not travelling to get to it. I've driven by myself over the Golden Gate Bridge. I might be able to do it now if I lived in San Rafael :-).

Doesn't do a darn bit of good.

No, probably because you are fighting them which is natural, plus setting yourself up for another failure which you don't need. One of the therapies that seemed to help people was gradual desensitation, a therapist goes with you while you face your fear little by little, probably too expensive for the average patient, easier to find a drug.

In a strange way, I'm glad it happened to me. Before that I was Miss "Just get over it" and had no compassion or understanding of how powerful the mind's tricks could be. I'm grateful to have been humbled a bit. Would've been a *real* tragedy to have gone through life as an a**. ;-)

I've kind of thought like that sometimes, too, and am more compassionate now than when I was young although my first encounter with it full blown was a girl I worked with, lovely girl, we went to lunch together and she dropped her tray. She froze. I picked it all up for her and didn't have a clue. Later she confided in me how she was. I admit I didn't understand it then, but didn't know what lay ahead for me, and didn't think she was "abnormal" because of it. Wonder how her life turned out. Then it got me, and I tried to hide it from others because of the shame of appearing weak or sick. It's easier to write about it anonymously than talk to people in your life about it. What was really bothering me I never told therapists because I was too ashamed. I was afraid of sirens, used to play the radio loud in the hopes that I wouldn't have to hear them. I still don't like them but usually pray for whatever it is for now. That I traced back to losing my grandmother at age 8 in an automobile accident and almost dying from pneumonia a year later, left me weakened, but nothing has fully explained it. I couldn't eat at times when I was little, have a picture where I was so skinny, I look like I am from some third-world country. I don't ever remember *feeling* afraid until I was about 7 and some older kids tried to push me over a bridge, never told anybody until a couple years ago, not even my mother. Now I think they were probably bluffing, but it was a busy street, and nobody stopped to help.

Are you getting help? Just because you think you needed humbling, doesn't mean you haven't learned something. You deserve to get better. Going through life as an a** is an odd way to put it. I've seen a lot like them. They are often "winners", successful, live-it-up types, people like them even.

I am not glad it happened to you and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (maybe just for long enough to learn what it feels like so they know what pain they have caused you and judging you).

I've known several people who are afraid of the very things you are, and they never took one psych med. One turned to street drugs. That made things much worse. The others had pretty full and normal lives in spite of it, outwardly at least. We don't really know the inner turmoil and pain some people are going through. People with physical illnesses get more sympathy and understanding, although sympathy is not good for me. Understanding is because it makes me feel less alone.

Anyway, there are other ways one can learn humility without so much suffering. I do hope you will have a better life than I did. Thank you for sharing. I used to be hospitalized every year for a week or more. I felt bad for the men who were suffering from it; I think it is harder for them because they are (or were then) expected to be strong whereas women get excused for weaknesses more. Now that won't play very well with the ladies :-). But it's the way it used to be. So a lot of men drink (and use street drugs) to self-medicate.

Hang in there, and I wish you great blessings in spite of it all. I should have just written that because maybe my response was inadequate or not what you wanted or expected to hear.

bttt

Thank you for the thoughtful post! No, I'm not getting help now, but I do plan to get some down the road. I *know* there has to be a way to beat this beast and I will find it. What's strange is that I've had plenty of trauma in my childhood and none of that caused me problems. As a matter of fact, I cannot think of a single thing that caused my phobias to form. One day I loved flying, the next I could hardly get on a plane. One day I could sit on the edge of a cliff and feel nothing but peace. The next, I had to be peeled off the floor from under the window of a 5 story building. I do remember the exact moment that I had my first reaction to each phobia. One interesting thing to note is that the flying phobia showed up when my daughter was 3 months old. Heights came a few months later and bridges came when my son was 6 months old. No new phobias after that. I think that the post-pregnancy hormones somehow set me up. But I *have* managed to get over my fear of spiders! lol! (Now say a quick, soothing prayer for me. I have to fly to my in-laws next week. *sigh* I'm trying not to think about it too much... and yes, I'll probably have a few drinks before I get on the plane.)

It's OK. I won't be driving. ;-)

Actually, as someone that suffered from PTSD for pretty much most of my life, I have also had the strange combination of learning experiences to be arrogant enough to know that I am, in fact, smarter than some psychiatrists.

The psychiatrists that still think they are "in charge" and that "recovery" is a myth, those are the most fun to chain jerk with.

In the event that the # source of my PTSD thinks he can abuse me back into a hospital just for spite...well, have I got a plan to stump the panel.

There is some disorder in the DSM where the signs exhibited include the insistence of speaking French, believing to be a residence of France with no clue as to any other possible reality AND it comes with a side of headaches. Remind me to brush up on my french...

I try not to play games with them, be straightforward, and in no way presume to know more than they do, although I know there are some that are dangerous.

It is best not to fall into their hands in the first place, but some people have to have the help or the alternative is worse, see another thread. That is the place to start if things go too seriously awry; some can be overcome without therapy in time, but some mentally ill are potentially dangerous, and we all know it.

Abuse can have lasting effects like that, don't want to go there, the bitterness from it only makes it worse. I suggest you cut all ties with your abuser if at all possible and not repeat the pattern with another one.

You lost me with DSM and the French. I learned it in school but have little need for it now. I won't go into other possible theories, counterproductive.

I sincerely wish you well in recovering and moving on to a healthier life.

God bless. I’m praying for you.

A very sincere thank you. I will pray for you and others, too. Blessings to you.

Good for you. You are facing it. Oh I wish you well on your trip. In laws and planes, that is VERY brave.

We can't know with certainty exactly what causes the "beast" as you call it to kick in.

Post partum can definitely affect things, but a lot of mine was incubating before I had my first child at 22.

I can relate. I once sat on the very edge of the Grand Canyon. There were no fences then, bet there may be now. I've been to the top of the Empire State Building, the IDS tower, now I can go up in elevators in buildings that are not so tall but would be very uncomfortable going in the really tall ones. How people can actually live and/or work in the things is beyond me. Some humans are incredibly adaptable.

A friend from school days, she went through catholic schools, and she and her husband travel all over. She was on a bus in Europe going up a mountain, and laid down of the floor of the bus, never got intervention except perhaps the family doctor. Later she tragically lost a daughter which really scarred her life, but she keeps going. I think her faith and husband are a consolation to her.

Can’t argue that.