Posted on 07/31/2007 11:47:50 AM PDT by DogByte6RER
vagitarian.
Oh, they call me the meat man Ya oughta see me eat, m'am Hear I'm the meat man, baby Ya oughta see me eat, m'am(written by Mack Vickory, sung by Jerry Lee Lewis)
Enjoy these lyrics from Dead-Eye Dick....
I’ve got a new age girl
(Tell us what she’s like)
An environmentalist girl
(Does she ride a bike)
She has crystal necklace
(She spend a lot of cash)
Though her vibes are rather reckless
(She’s heading for a crash)
Oh her flowing skirt is blowing in a transcendental wind
And she wonders without knowing where did she begin..
Mary Moon.. she’s a vegetarian
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. will outlive all the septuagenarians
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Oh, she loves me so
She hates to be alone
She don’t eat meat
But she sure like the bone
RAH
You knew she drives a wind car
(How does she like it)
It doesn’t get her far
(Why doesn’t she bike it)
But it gets her to where she’s going to
(I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know)
Where that is, I wish I knew
I don’t know where she’s going
And I don’t know where she’s been
All I know that loving her has gotta be a sin
(Chorus)
RAH
Mary Moon will you hesitate
Don’t segregate your thought from your emotions
I know that devotion isn’t way up there
RAH
Mary Moon.. she’s a vegetarian
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. will outlive all the septuagenarians
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. She’s an intellectual
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. Despite that fact remains quite sexual
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. She’s the one for me, me, yeah
RAH
Fine with me. I only sleep with omnivores and carnivores. Besides, vegans fart constantly, they deserve each other.
This reminds me... I’m probably one of the most new agey people my husband is close to, yet no one who knows us really notices. LOL!
Carrot Juice Is Murder
Lyrics by The Arrogant Worms
Listen up brothers and sisters, come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaw’s a fascist regime Don’t think that they don’t have feelings, just cause a radish can’t scream
Chorus:
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables(Scream... scream... scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (Having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy..(Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (That it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder..(And that’s a real crime)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (Let my vegetables go!)
It’s time to stop all this gardening..(It’s dirty as hell)
Let’s call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a)
I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I’ll bite him clean in two
I’m a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
‘Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips, by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, “This is my finest hour!
I’d kill those farmers again, just to save one more cauliflower!”
CHORUS
How low as people do we dare to stoop?
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans! Uncage your tomatoes!
Let potted plants free! Don’t mash that potato!! Whoa!... Whoa!... Whoa!...
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables(Scream... scream... scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (Into the stirfryer sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy..(You fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder..(V-8’s genocide)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It’s time to stop all this gardening..(Take Up macrame)
Let’s call a spade a spade. (is a spade is a spade is a)
Another similar FR thread:
“Vegans shun sex with carnivores, says researcher”
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1874249/posts
I should have used another search term besides “vegansexual” before posting this. But then again, who would have known? Today is the first time I have ever heard of the term “vegansexual”
Life in the Slaw Lane by Kip Addota (1985)
It was Cucumber the first; summer was over.
I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled.
I’m the kinda guy that works hard for his celery and I don’t mind telling you I was feeling a bit wilted.
But I didn’t carrot all. ‘Cause, otherwise, things were vine.
I try never to disparagus and I don’t sweat the truffles.
I’m outstanding in my field and I know something good will turnip eventually.
A bunch of things were going grape, and soon, I’d be top banana.
At least, that’s my peeling.
But that’s enough corn; lend me your ear and lettuce continue:
After dressing, I stalked on over to the grain station.
I got there just in lime to catch the nine-elemon as it plowed toward the core of Appleton,
a lentil more than a melon-and-a-half Yeast of Cloveland.
CHORUS
Life in the slaw lane.
They say plants can’t feel no pain.
Life in the slaw lane.
I’ve got news for you:
They’re just as frail as you.
No one got off at Zucchini, so we continued on a rutaBaga.
Passing my usual stop, I got avoCado.
I hailed a passing Yellow Cabbage and told the driver to cart me off to Broccolyn.
I was going to meet my brother across from the eggplant where he had a job at the Saffron station pumpkin gas.
As soon as I saw his face, I knew he was in a yam.
He told me his wife had been raisin cane. Her name was Peaches:
a soiled but radishing beauty with HUGE goards.
My brother had always been a chestnut, but I could neve figured out why she picked him.
He was a skinny little string bean who had always suffered from cerebral parsley.
It was in our roots.
Sure, we had tried to weed it out, but the problem still romained.
He was used to having a tough row to how, but it irrigated me to see Artichoke,
and it bothered my brother to see his marriage going to seed.
CHORUS
Like most mapled couples, they had a lot of grilling to do.
Sure, they’d sown their wild oats, but just barley if you peas.
Finally, Peaches had given him an ultomato. She said, “I’m hip to your chive,
and you don’t stop smoking that herb, I’m gonna leaf ya for Basil, ya fruit!”
He said he didn’t realize it had kumquat so far.
Onion other hand, even though Peaches could be the pits, I knew she’d never call the fuzz.
CHORUS
So I said, “Hay, we’re not farm from the Mushroom! Let’s walk over.”
He said, “That’s a very rice place. That’s the same little bar where alfalfa my wife!”
When we got there, I pulled up a cherry and tried to produce small talk.
I told him I haven’t seen Olive; not since I shelled off for a trip to Macadamia when I told her, “We cantaloupe.”
The time just wasn’t ripe.
She knew what I mint.
When we left the Mushroom, we were pretty well-juiced.
I told Arti to say hello to the boysenBerry and that I’d orange to see him another thyme.
Well, it all came out in the morning peppers:
Arti caught Peaches that night with Basil, and Arti beat Basil bad,
leaving him with two beautiful acres.
Peaches? She was found in the garden; she’d been pruned.
CHORUS
Well, my little story is okra now.
Maybe it’s small potatoes. Me? Idaho.
My name? Wheat. My friends call me “Kernel”.
And that’s life in the slaw lane.
Thank you so mulch.
CHORUS
It’s a garden out there!
Jeez, where HAVE you BEEN? ;)
Yet you'll eat plants grown in fertilizer, part of which came out of the rear of a tasty animal we eat. Things that make you go hmmmm.
Wouldn’t this also include Monica?
Ewwwww.
Wouldn’t this also include Monica?
So is dirty talk in bed about steaks with these freaks?
Or soybeans?
its all so confusing.....
Thanks, but I'm kind of afraid to look....
I’ve seen the photos of some of these Vegans. They aren’t someone you’de want to sleep with, for the most part..that is if you want to get physical with skinny, malnourished people who look like vampires.
And the angel of the Lord came unto me,
snatching me up from my
place of slumber,
and took me on high,
and higher still until we
moved in the spaces betwixt the air itself.
and he bore me unto a
vast farmland of our own midwest,
and as we descended cries of
impending doom rose from the soil.
one thousand, nay, a million
voices full of fear.
and terror possessed me then.
and I begged,
“Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?”
And the angel said unto me,
“These are the cries of the carrots,
the cries of the carrots.
You see, reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day
and to them it is the holocaust.”
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
like the tears of one millions terrified brothers
and roared,
“Hear me now,
I have seen the light,
they have a consciousness,
they have a life,
they have a soul.
damn you!
let the rabbits wear glasses,
save our brothers...can I get an amen?
can I get a hallelujah? thank you, Jesus.
life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on...
this is necessary
it was daylight when you woke up in your ditch.
you looked up at your sky.
that made blue be your color.
you had your knife with you there too.
when you stood up there was goo all over your clothes.
your hands were sticky.
you wiped them on your grass,
so now your color was green.
oh Lord, why did everything always have
to keep changing like this?
you were already getting nervous again.
your head hurt and it rang when you stood up.
your head was almost empty.
it always hurt you when you woke up like this.
you crawled up out of your ditch unto your gravel road
and you began to walk
and waited for the rest of your mind to come back to you.
you could see the car parked far down the road
and you walked toward it.
if God is our father, you though,
then Satan must be our cousin.
why didn’t anyone else understand these important things?
when you got to your car,
you tried all the doors,
but they were locked.
it was a red car and it was new.
there was an expensive leather camera case lying on the seat.
out across your field
you could see two tiny people walking by your woods.
you began to walk towards them.
now red was your color and of course,
those little people out there were yours too
Tool - Disgustipated lyrics
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