Posted on 08/10/2007 10:10:21 AM PDT by pabianice
There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who “love Nature” while deploring the “artificialities” with which “Man has spoiled ‘Nature.’ “
The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that Man and his artifacts are not part of “Nature”, but beavers and their dams are.
But the contradictions go deeper than this prima-facie absurdity.
In declaring his love for a beaver dam (erected by beavers for beavers’ purposes) and his hatred for dams erected by men (for the purposes of men) the “Naturist” reveals his hatred for his own race, i.e. his own self-hatred.
In the case,of “Naturists” such self-hatred is understandable; they are such a sorry lot.
But hatred is too strong an emotion to feel toward them; pity and contempt are the most they rate.
As for me, willy-nilly I am a man, not a beaver, and H. sapiens is the only race I have or can have.
Fortunately for me, I like being part of a race made up of men and women, it strikes me as a fine arrangement and perfectly “natural.”
LAZARUS LONG
Google:
Spring Pond Beavers
STATE OF MICHIGAN Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR 350 OTTAWA NW GRAND RAPIDS MI 49503-2341 JOHN ENGLER, Governor DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY HOLLISTER BUILDING, PO BOX 30473, LANSING MI 48909-7973 INTERNET: http://www.deq.state.mi RUSSELL J. HARDING, Director December 17, 1997 CERTIFIED Mr. Ryan DeVries 2088 Dagget Pierson, MI 49339 Dear Mr. DeVries: SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm County It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions. Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative Land and Water Management Division Dear Mr. Price: Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response. First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first. As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy, or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice! In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem: bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office. Sincerely, Stephen L. Tvedten |
...and I've been laughing , ever since.
They should have shipped the beavers over to NO to help with their damn dike problem.
Loved the cartoon!!
There was an anti-leg hold trap ballot initiative a few years ago sponsored by PETA. It passed so easily that they later remarked that if they had known how easy it was going to be, they’d have tried to outlaw hunting.
City dwellers and ditzy suburbanities like Ms. Honan voted for it overwhelmingly.
Anyway the upshot that no leg hold traps lead to a surge in the beaver (order rodentia) population. FWIW, I saw beaver in the pond next to my house a few weeks ago. Fortunately, the floor of my basement is pretty high above it.
Hell, I thought it was hillarious, but on the blogs I've posted it on, it seemed to kill the threads stone dead.
Damn the beavers, full steam ahead...
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