I lived with my wife for five years before we were married. Are you trying to tell me our relationship is doomed?
If you are so am I- my husband and I lived together over a year before we married. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. No way was I going to marry someone before I knew what day to day life was like with him.
But we did wait approx 2 weeks after we got married to get pregnant.
cohab means you have kids but you never get married and you are never tied to anyone.
Dittoes. My husband and I lived together for around three years before marrying, and next month will be our 21st anniversary. It's better now than it's ever been despite the absolute worst things that have happened to us and our children. When we shacked up we weren't even thinking "I'm out of here if it goes bad" - it was more like "THIS is the one I want to be with."
That said, I do believe that many shack-up situations do have that fair weather mentality built into it.
Not at all.
Notice the statistics the eminent Dr. quoted are not 100%.
You and your wife are obviously in the range of those who stayed married.
The fact that you were together five years first may be a clue to your success. Maybe it was God’s plan for the two of you.
God bless you both.
Ever heard of a bell curve? You are the exception. Apparently.
I never hurt anyone though. So we're cool, right?
And if I had a kid, I'd be cool with the example I set for him because while I was pretty sure I could drive in that condition, well, if he *thinks* he can, too, then, hell, who am I to criticize.
So, In other words, Dave Elias, why must you be so obtuse?
He's telling you that if you manage to stay together, you're beating the odds. "X probability" of some event occurring means (by definition) "1-X" probability of it not occurring.
Consider the "game" of Russian Roulette. Assuming a standard six-shot revolver and one chamber loaded, there's a 0.17 probability of decorating the wall with your brains when you pull the trigger and 0.83 probability of survival.
I think they are just saying that cohabitating is NOT a committment and therefore not a relationship built on solid ground. Something happens in a marriage ceremony that I truly never expected; I was stunned. I have asked others, they confirm. It is DIFFERENT.
Your history with your wife means that you are more likely to have one or more of those negative occurrences in your relationship. There will be some who experience all of them; there will be some who experience none of them.
I hope you're in the second group, FRiend. :-)
It's all about probabilities, not absolutes.