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Racists. Bigots. Nativists. Xenophobes.
[la raza mode=”off”]
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION TO CANADA
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, drink Budweiser, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal- rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
“He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.”
When I said I didn’t have any, he left. Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they
wouldn’t give milk.”
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
“A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.”
When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer watch The Dukes of Hazard and NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.
After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the ‘50s.
“If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,” an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
“I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art history majors does one country need?
Is there such a thing as an “illegal immigrant” in Canada? Who knew?
“We are a very civil society and we like the idea that people should play by the rules, and we don’t like it when there are rule-breakers and I think that has been a fairly consistent view,” said Mr. Showler. However, he added that Canadians are very “schizophrenic” on the issue and once personal details about an immigrant, who is about to be deported, become public through the media, they often become extremely supportive.”
Lyndsey Graham called us “bigots”. I guess those who are self appointed thinkers for others in Canada call their citizens “schizophrenics”.
Thread duly filed under a keyword prompted by the Mexican invasion
of Winsdor, Ontario:
KEYWORD: MEXICANCANADA
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/keyword?k=mexicancanada
My advice to Windsor/Canada: don’t ship these invaders back to the USA.
Because they’ll be back on your doorstep in no time at all.
Does that include the U.S. born draft dodger hippie freaks who ran there in the 60’s and 70’s?
Duh.
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
In plain English, "Once the reader's emotions have been manipulated by the press"...
Typical of the lamestream press. Pretend to report a story, but only publish the bit that supports the agenda they support.