We are trying to parent with the goal of teaching our son to be independent AND civilized. This is much harder than I anticipated. At fifteen months, it seems like we are experiencing the “terrible two’s”. He will frequently say “no, no, no, ...” as he is doing what we have previously told him not to do.
I may now be paying the price for all the complaining I used to do about other peoples’ children.
Children are not mature enough to be “independent”.
Seriously, see my link above, read the book from your library. It makes a lot of sense. If he’s old enough to understand a command, he’s old enough to obey you, willingly and cheerfully.
When the child has enough parental guidance under his belt, THEN he can be independent, and more confidently so.
Incidentally, I talked to a Vietnamese family a while back, and out of curiosity asked about the “terrible two’s” - they hadn’t heard of it. Described it to the mother and she said “oh, that’s just misbehavior - spanking consistently cures that”.
You do know why they call them the "terrible two's", right? It's a phase that starts when they're two but, don't worry, it ends when they turn twenty two. :=)
LOL! We've been through that with several children! "Bad baby, don't hit kitty!" as she's chasing the cat with a spoon in her hand ...
"Natural consequences" will take care of some of this, as your son's reasoning processes develop. He'll notice that the cat bites, the stove burns, and the books fall off the shelf on his head. My 3-year-old recently showed a scratch on his hand to our priest, and explained, "Bad James! It's your own fault the cat doesn't like you!"
(Father was a bit confused, because - in addition to being hard of hearing - he's also named James!)
And what are the consequences of this behavior?