Oh just cry me a river the two of you. I’m a New York Yyankees centerfielder trapped in a pudgy middle aged mans body. Those Steinbrenners are keeping me down! Where’s my candelight vigil?
You set your sights too low. Pudgy? Middle aged? Hell, I bet if you switched positions to pitcher and did some roids you could be a pretty good ball player. Oh wait, never mind, you already have Roger Clemens.