Posted on 01/06/2008 11:02:54 AM PST by forkinsocket
Muslim leaders have given warning against “malicious” intervention by third parties into legitimate arranged marriages.
The Muslim Council of Britain (MCB) has welcomed plans to allow third parties to take legal steps to protect young people from being forced to marry a person. But it has urged the Government to ensure that cultural norms are safeguarded. Those given the new powers should receive training, the council said.
Muslims and other minority groups in Britain with a tradition of arranged marriage say that the issue is not one of faith, but of culture. Arranged marriages have long been practised in the East and among many religious groups, including some Orthodox Jews. The wide variety of practice ranges from introductions offered by relatives or others in the community to a mutually agreed union between strangers, sometimes from different countries. Forced marriage has totally different connotations.
(Excerpt) Read more at timesonline.co.uk ...
Forced marriage is not “totally different” from arranged marriage but can run into it along a continuum.
I know several Hindu couples who had arranged marriages, but freely entered with a chance to meet, become acquainted, and decline. They seem very happy.
A few centuries ago, England had to write laws to prohibit forced marriage among its own people - whether forced by guardians or by kidnapping. So maybe it’s all a matter of time, nothing a few hundred years won’t fix.
We should never see this in our country. Arranged marriage completely violates the concept of individual freedom.
I would guess almost every American finds this repugnant and will reject it.
Boycotting eharmony, Hello Dolly and Fiddler on the Roof, are we?
A couple years ago I went to a wedding reception in Edison, New Jersey. The wedding itself had taken place in India. It was an arranged marriage freely entered, and the couple seemed VERY happy. The parents of a school friend of mine, educated Indians, had an arranged marriage, and again they were happy - thought that families made wise and benevolent decisions for their children. That marriage is going on fifty years now.
Three days a week I go to Lakewood, NJ, which is 70% ultra-orthodox Jewish. Arranged marriages, freely entered, are very common among them, and while I can’t judge the happiness of any of those marriages, family and community are strong there.
Arranged marriage is here, all right. There’s nothing repugnant about it, as long as it is not forced.
Yeah, we here in America are definitely auhtorities on what it takes to have a successful marriage, aren’t we? Not!
I have many Indian friends, most of whom have arranged marriages. They all seem to be happy. Considering that most of the Americans I work with are divorced, it seems to have its merits.
Ever wonder why families sacrifice to send their daughters to college?
I don’t care a fig about arranged marriages, I simply like the idea of the “freely entered” part the most.
Sure, they can be quite successful, maybe more so than our traditional method of cruising the bars for a suitable mate. But that’s not the point.
The real point is that muzzies often leave out that ever-important “freely” part, preferring the honor-killing method for those who refuse. Well, for the woman, anyway.
Only guy who kept his wife "locked up" was next door, and one day she bought a little yellow car, a set of blue jeans, a halter top, and TOOK OFF.
Having the elders "match you up" seems to prepare you for live as a refugee in America.
“Arranged” marriages are not “forced” marriages.
We may have to look at our marriage laws. The marriage is required to occur in this country. Both parties are counseled in private to make certain that "freely" is the fact. All laws regarding age and relationship are to be enforced regardless of "culture". It should be clear that "forced" marriages will not be tolerated and innocent parties protected.
I am more and more convinced that potential immigrants have to understand that they are required to integrate. That does not mean they have to abandon their cultural heritage, it just means that they have to accept and live by the most basic tenants of our society, individual freedom, religious tolerance, respect for law, etc. They cannot expect to change our society to reflect the one they left, they must be willing to adapt and blend into our society. Those individuals who are unwilling to do so should lose their immigrant status and be returned to their country of origin.
“not one of faith, but of culture. Arranged marriages have long been practised in the East and among many religious group....”
The East British? /s
Uhh...what culture are they living in?
Their "cultural norms" are safeguarded...in the countries from which they immigrated. If they have no intention or desire to assimilate into the British culture, they should consider returning to the countries from which they came.
Arranged marriage is a problem. Over 10 percent of arranged marriages end in divorce.
I would guess almost every American finds this repugnant and will reject it.
I would guess that you would be wrong. Men in America used to ask for the approval and permission of the family to marry their intended. And families didn't give permission if the man couldn't support her. This sort of thing has a long history in the US and everywhere else. Marriage is a community concern and the community has historically made its opinion known. Arranged marriage is another form of that.
We've seen plenty of this in the United States. Lots of cultures (various eastern & Jewish are two that come immediately to mind) do this all the time.
From my own experience, most of the Greek kids I went to high school with were eventually married in arranged marriages and I can say two things: 1). As far as I know, all of them - every last one - are still married & seem to be as happy as the rest of us. 2) There's much more to marriage than romantic love, as hard as that is for Americans to believe. It isn't anywhere near "number one" in some cultures. Marriage is a much more practical institution elsewhere in the world.
We can learn a lot from cultures whose divorce statistics are so much lower than ours. Stuff like: when romantic love seems to be gone, it isn't time to just up & quit.
And: honesty, decency and the willingness to work hard and stick it out are more important factors in choosing a mate than the kind of car a guy drives or how a girl looks in a bikini; but too many Americans don't look at those things and we pay an incredibly high price for that.
They can be both, sometimes.
One thing we have to look out for, is arranged marriages and immigration, where the marriage is in large part a vehicle to bring in another immigrant.
After all, the British Pakistani community is large enough they need not look abroad.
50% of non-arranged marriages end in divorce.
This entire thread has wandered off course.
Arranged marriages as practiced by NON-MUSLIM ethnic groups have an element of free choice (and therefore the chance for real happiness).
The original intent of this thread IMHO is to discuss involuntary bride-price FORCED marriages as practiced by the Religion of Peace!
Let’s stay on topic! It’s about islamomuzzies in Britain demanding perfect respect for their primitive barbaric social practices!
Thank you.
That is what I was talking about.
When I think of arranged marriage as practiced in Islam it is where Dad tells daughter “you are marrying him”.
The premise for my earlier statement were those marriages where the female has no choice.
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