Hey, man: I can dig it! ....You walk into the Washington office building and when the door closes behind you... the walls are covered in cool black velvet and the soft purple lights are all turned down low. From the speakers above, Barry White croons in his soulful baritone: "Oooh darlin' darlin'..mmmm...can't get enough of your love, babe...". One of the Assistant Undersecretaries for the Promotion of Passion slinks up to you in a high-cut silk dress, flashing her warmest white smile and shaking her luxuriant blonde tresses as she purrs: Hi, there, handsome! Welcome to the Department of Love. Mmmm, why don't you come on over to our reception area, and I'll help you get more comfortable...mmm...
Oh, yeah: now that's the kind of serious government reform I can get behind....
No, more like...
He did not know where he was. Presumably he was in the Ministry of Love, but there was no way of making certain. He was in a high-ceilinged windowless cell with walls of glittering white porcelain. Concealed lamps flooded it with cold light, and there was a low, steady humming sound which he supposed had something to do with the air supply. A bench, or shelf, just wide enough to sit on ran round the wall, broken only by the door and, at the end opposite the door, a lavatory pan with no wooden seat. There were four telescreens, one in each wall.