I disagree with the 2nd half of this statement.
At birth, I did not begin the process of creating who I am, but rather was born with a personality and with traits. I am stuck with who I am and only spend a lifetime refine and fixing what I already am.
The best descriptor for people are “polite people” and “rude people”. It matters far more than skin color.
People who are “polite”, are that way personally, as are their family, for the most part (excepting the “black sheep” who are rude), their friends, and the majority of their lives which are spent in polite pastimes. They prefer politeness, are attracted to it, and enjoy the recognition that they are polite.
And as with politeness for polite people, rudeness permeates the lives of the rude. It is in their dress, their manner, their language, their behavior, tastes, and preferences. Rude people do not like or appreciate politeness in themselves or others. They shun it and sneer at it.
They enjoy when a polite person is brought low, and even reject the idea that others can be polite in the first place. In truth, they are not happy, because most things that will give people happiness are achieved through hard work, not wishing, hoping or praying to be given them for free.
Once people are looked at in this light, it is easy to ignore skin color, and communicate “polite person to polite person”. Polite black people feel, with some justification, that they have to work extra hard to be seen by white polite people as polite people, and so are grateful when they do get the recognition and respect they deserve.
It grates on polite black people when they are compared with rude black people, by anyone. The most common comparison is, oddly enough, for polite black people to be ignored.
This is because all polite people defend themselves against rude people by ignoring them, not wanting to have anything to do with them, or getting caught up in their rudeness. For a polite person to ignore another polite person is, in a way, calling them rude.
The recognition of polite black people as polite is sincerely appreciated by them. It is a recognition of their hard work to become and remain polite people, as well as a recognition that they are *not* rude people.
Of course, there are those who insult polite black people by comparing them with rude black people. This is usually done by rude people of whatever skin color to try and tear down polite black people.
How odd. I wasn't born alone....I'm pretty sure the doctor was there and I'm very certain that Mom was also.