If you are that kind of spiteful guy here is a fun thing to do on a Saturday. Go into a Whole Earth Provision or a like minded enviro friendly store and ask where the seal clubs are located. Tell them that your old club is worn out and it’s time for a new one because baby seal clubbing season is coming up.
Mr. Ditter actually did this and I thought their head would explode before they figured out he was teasing. They realized he was not serious but they still didn’t think it was funny because somewhere once a baby seal did get clubbed and you shouldn’t joke about things like that.