It might save someone's life.
Pong
It could have been worse, Dave. They could have been playing Eddie Murphy singing “Boogie In Your Butt”.
Barry’s description of the entire process is right on target!
*snicker*
Over the past 4 years I’ve had numerous doctors’ visits and medical procedures. Barry’s comment here is dead-on: “At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the hell the forms said.”
Well since I won’t listen to Katie Couric on anything it’s good that Dave Barry has prepped me to get a colonoscopy!
I’m 48, so do I wait two years, or do I figure that I’m already middle-aged and might as well get my first one now rather than two years from now?
I really don’t want anyone coming near that part of my anatomy, I’m not Barney Frank, but I suppose it’s a medically important screening procedure.......
I always enjoy a good DB read, but this is in another category. I laughed so hard it hurt. Thanks for posting.
Dave Barry obviously shows no sensitivity to the sexual practices of homosexuals.
My sister had colon cancer 4 years ago so I’m considered to be at a higher risk. But I’m also afraid of the 17,000 foot tube.
The first timeI went in (ten years ago) they used a Valium drip. Not fun.
I went back recently and they're now using this anesthetic that makes you forget? They wheeled me in, I asked when they were going to start, and they said they were finished.
Literally unbelievable.
Colon cancer killed my mother. By the time she knew she had, it was too late. This was 23 years ago, before routine screening. Had she had the screening, she might still be alive.
My best friend’s sister died last year from colon cancer. She never thought she needed the screening. She was only 57 years old.
I’m not 50 yet, but I’ve had the scope done twice. If I hadn’t had it done, there’s a good chance my polyps could have turned into cancer. My friend got his scope done, now his doctors can watch his polyp situation as well & hopefully prevent him from getting colon cancer.
The scope isn’t pleasant, but it’s better than cancer. I urge everyone to “suck it up” get over your fear & GET THE SCOPE!!
His Dr. said that polyp had probably been there for 10+ years and had he had his colonoscopy at age 50 when he should have he would have avoided a colon resection during which he lost so much blood he had to have several units transfused. He also ended up developing a heart arrhythmia post-op as well as a week long hospital stay that left him very weak. He was out of work for 6 weeks and ran out of leave time.
Get it done sooner rather than later. My dad is/was very healthy otherwise, no risk factors, and no family history so it can happen to anyone.
I wonder if the part about the vodka is true.
OK, that one made diet Sprite come out my nose. And it was painful.
There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
I was shrieking when I read this part...
Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, ''What if I spurt on Andy?'' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
Chocolates? EW!!! No....
Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.... (snort!!!)
Pretty similar to my experience, except that I had to drink a whole gallon of that lemon-flavored camel spit. They found that I had ulcerative colitis, and kept me in the hospital for 5 days, which was horrible. I’ve had a couple more colonoscopies since then, and found out something else. They won’t let you drive home afterwards, so you have to lie and say you have a ride, or spend a day in the hospital.
