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...I know quite a few people who have 4 or more children. These families are indeed a pretty sight. They are, virtually without exception, composed of loving, intelligent, active people. They also tend to be well-educated. They are also all committed Christians of one sort or another. They have struggles and challenges in their lives just like everyone else. But they tend overwhelmingly to strive to support and nurture one another even in the face of severe challenges. These tend to be quiet people. To me they are inspiring. They give me real hope for the future in the face of so much of the lunacy that is so rampant today.

Thanks for the encouraging news.

How have they overcome the following two main problems (as I see it) to getting married and having families:

1. Easy divorce where the husband is automatically assumed to be at fault and is severely economically punished by the legal system at the whim of the woman.

and

2. Kids who turn out to be bums (too lazy to work around the house or get a job, too irresponsible to hold a job, drink alcohol, smoke dope, get pregnant out of wedlock to guys who can't support them, etc. etc.).

I hope scory writes back to answer your question, butmeanwhile, let me take a whack at it.

My longm observation has been that for the marriage to flourish, both marriage partners have to be committed to 'marriage' as an institution, covenant, sacrament, rather than just committed to each other. Commitment to 'each other" is wonderful, but on its own it is not nearly as stable as commitment to marriage per se.

That generally means they have religious beliefs, whether Jewish, Christian, Mormon or whatever, which highlight marriage as a covenant that involves God. In which case the partners understand that they have freely ruled out divorce as a possibility. And which means they both are highly motivated to make the marriage as harmonious and satisfactory to each other as possible, because it's your state of life til death intervenes, so it behooves you to live with a satisfied person.

Mind you, atheism/agnosticism does not automatically rule out lifelong marital fidelity, and religious beliefs don't absolutely immunize you from divorce. But it helps.

As for the kids: don't raise them with a sense of being pampered house guests but make sure they always, at every point, have work to do. And after they move out, at 18 or 20 or whenever, sell the house.

Ha!

The people I know regard marriage as a sacrament. Divorce is not unknown but it is not entered into lightly and is quite rare.

In these families there tends to be a strong Christian foundation that is taught to children literally from the cradle. Among the lessons are a strong work ethic and no tolerance for alcohol or drugs. That said there are certainly children who do not take these things to heart and rebel or disappoint. But in the main the children I know are good citizens who revere God, value work and seek education.

The key is faith and in parents who actually live that faith. These parents teach by example and children tend to take such teaching to heart.

How have they overcome the following two main problems (as I see it) to getting married and having families:
1. Easy divorce where the husband is automatically assumed to be at fault and is severely economically punished by the legal system at the whim of the woman.
and

Yes, you have hit the nail on the head. The only way to overcome these problems is to live outside of mainstream US society. There is absolutely no way you can have your wife watching Oprah and your kids watching MTV and think that you will have a happy outcome from your efforts at building a family. There are those who criticize "isolation," but in today's society, it's the only possible answer.