I never thought I had gaydar, but if I saw any of these two coming down the street, the first thing that would pop into my mind would be (Rip Taylor voice) “HELLO FRISCO!”
I thought I heard it all. This story is disturbing on so many levels. And the incident with one climbing apartment walls, doing backflips (?), butting his head through the rear window of a patrol car, and escaping while handcuffed by swimming through a pond... happened in the town next to mine, as per the story.