Posted on 02/28/2008 8:40:15 AM PST by firehat
THE UNDERSERVING UNDESERVING
(THEY’RE ALWAYS WITH US) ©
by Norman Liebmann
The nomination of John McCain by the Republican Party’s is a not too subtle way of informing conservatives that they won’t have a dog in this fight.
The danger is, like all kid brothers, Raul Castro will do anything to get his older brother’s approval.
Illegal aliens should stop complaining about having to climb over a wall to get into America. It’s good practice for climbing the wall to get out of San Quentin.
Someday NASA will invent a spacecraft that does something else besides go up and come down.
The latest Hollywood star to bad rap America around the world is Sharon Stone – so screw her and the casting couch she rode in on.
Have the soccer moms been replaced by the bimbocrats?
McCain marches to the sound of a different conservatism -Death Wish Republicanism. McCain is living proof that if you live long enough you’ll get a chance to run for President.
Will the Democrats give us another Stepford Congress?
Obama has established a political phenomenon called the Hip Hop Nuremberg Rally.
In case you’re wondering, the show called “The L Word” is not about life in a gay Leper colony. And now that lesbians have their own cable television dramatic series, will they ever do anything besides kiss and curse?
For a guy famous for having a short fuse, the most John McCain could react with to the New York Times accusation of his infidelity is “I’m disappointed”. Watch your mouth, John.
Would a shower of cruise missiles from our fleet in the Persian Gulf remind OPEC that America is not the only country with a lot to lose?
If Bill Clinton had been a judge in the Old West, he would have pardoned all the horse thieves before Judge Roy Bean could hang them.
The big winner in the Hanoi Primary was Jane Fonda. (As expected she ran unopposed.)
Barack Obama has finally revealed the specifics of his program. He believes that nothing should be done for the first time – and if it should, it shouldn’t be now.
Al Gore should have entitled his book on global warming, “An Inconvenient Hoax”.
The biggest surprise the Academy Awards could have delivered this year is if the Oscar had gone to the actress with the smallest boobs. George Clooney’s pre-Oscar night lament that he may not win an Academy Award signaled the official start of National Who Gives a S--- Week.
Let’s get Don King to promote a bitch-slap contest between Heather Mills and Hillary Clinton. It would make one helluva television event!
The Soul Train is just about to pull into the Oval Office. Barack Obama's cabinet meetings would start only after someone sinks the opening hoop.
The day after the Enola Gay dropped the A Bomb on it, Hiroshima looked more presentable than Haiti did ten years after Bill Clinton "rescued" it.
A good strategy for the Middle East would be to nuke Iran and not bother to tidy the place up afterwards.
W.C. Fields had more affection for children than Hillary Clinton - and he didn’t like them at all.
The Great Wall that surrounds China is unimpressive compared to The Great Wall of Media that surrounds the Clintons.
Hillary is taking the high road. She’s tried everything else.
Considering his affinity for Democrats, if P.T. Barnum was around today, he would tell you – there’s a John McCain born every minute.
I have not heard one word against anti-Semitism spoken in Ebonics.
To be accusing John McCain of a sexual indiscretion at his age can only be construed as a compliment.
This may be the first election in history in which people will brag “I didn’t vote”.
It’s rumored they are making a Bill Clinton Remote which will enable sexual predators to be able to unhook brassieres from across the room.
The "minty" aides to Hillary would gather around the White House Yule log and sing “Don we now our gay agenda”.
Had Mike Huckabee beat the odds and been elected President, the Marine Band would be playing Hail to the Chief on banjos.
A woman President would be the ultimate rationalization for America’s need to appear weak – already in effect. (Hillary Clinton could be America’s first Commander-in-Chintz.)
Somewhere in the Clinton legacy will be Bubba’s declaration "Viet Nam is a great place to visit but I wouldn’t want to defend my country there".
McCain should move his yearly medical checkups to once a week.
The Great I Am gave Bill Clinton charisma rather than conscience. God moves in mysterious ways but He may want to rethink that one.
Is there something less than admirable in the Clinton dung heap of history that I’ve managed to overlook?
Monica Lewinsky, the human humidor, helped make the Hillary candidacy possible.
Hillary is Bill’s revenge. It’s that simple.
Before Geraldo Rivera convinces me it’s a good idea not to deport another illegal alien murderer back to Mexico, Charles Manson should be given a second chance.
Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Oprah Winfrey, could not fit in the front seat of a Hummer – even one at a time. As America’s First Lady, Michelle Obama would make us nostalgic for the good old days of Hillary Clinton.
McCain is speculating about losing both the war and the election. In order to do both he will not only have to cross the aisle – he will have to double cross it.
Vermont wants to secede from the United States of America. Now if they can produce a biofuel out of maple syrup you can bet your ass they will join OPEC. Until then Vermont will remain a place where stressed-out hairdressers go for R & R.
To paraphrase a lyric from My Fair Lady – The McCain Campaign Will Go Mainly Down the Drain.
That non-stop swap of saliva by Al and Tipper Gore at the Democrat 2000 Convention might be what actually caused global warming – or more likely global slobbering.
Is it true Hillary is negotiating with Hollywood to take advantage of the black market in African orphans and register them as Democrat?
The McCain run for the Presidency proves you’re never too old to be too old.
Hillary’s speech of capitulation will be shown on television. See it with someone you don’t love.
The pollsters are saying the only way Hillary can carry Texas is if the rattlesnakes turn out.
Hillary Clinton is the self-proclaimed expert on health care. Personally I would like a second opinion.
John Paul Jones was a naval officer who said “I have not yet begun to fight” but eventually did. John Kerry was a naval Officer who said - I have not yet begun to fight – and eventually didn’t.
It is rumored Barack Obama has already prepared a sign to put up in the Oval Office that reads, "Speak Swahili Make a Dealie”.
Judging by their political acumen, the Bushes are not a family – they’re a turkey farm.
Does Ralph Nader live in a toaster that’s set to pop up every four years?
We must assume God had a noble purpose for creating the Clintons. After all, if He hadn't created squirrels we'd be up to our asses in acorns.
The Democrats do not speak well of God - and they do not come up in His conversation at all.
By the time McCain leaves the Senate there will not be a single Democrat ass left unkissed.
Cindy Sheehan lost her son, Elvira Arellano abandoned hers. It is not known why the Clintons considered Chelsea “a keeper”.
My guess is when cologne touches Hillary’s skin it turns into benzene.
The Hillary Health Care system would probably distribute incurable diseases to people who cannot afford them.
While Iran is enriching uranium and Afghanistan is enriching opium, the Saudis are enriching themselves and looking to get it on with their first blonds.
Zillionaire Mohamed Al Fayed is accusing the British Royal Family of murdering Princess Diana and her Arab boyfriend. It remains to see if the heretic/apostate Archbishop of Canterbury will demand Queen Elizabeth II be tried under Sharia Law.
John McCain keeps apologizing again and again and again. Presumably, he must have volunteered to make the valedictory apology to his captors at the Hanoi Hilton when he and his fellow prisoners finally graduated back into the free world.
McCain has attempted to substantiate his claim to being the only candidate with military experience by talking about losing the war in Iraq. Does anybody really need military experience to achieve that? No matter which candidate becomes President, we can be sure if America has to fight another war, it will be a polite one.
And this …
If you’re fed up, think of how God must feel.
***
I’m thinking that God realizes that for each and everyone of us, everything must be going the way He knew it would and according to His plan.
Hoping some of the Freeprs who have talent for comedy will spot this thread, and post of some their best one-liners.
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