[StolarStorm]

"Now, for the dance, as in a post earlier...the women who show up because their husbands ask them to show up for belly dance? Almost always fail....and the reason is they are there to make someone who doesn’t care for them love them (usually). To a woman, their self-esteem is in the pits and it breaks my heart."

I think your analysis is incorrect....completely. First, if a man doesn't care about his wife he won't bother to encourage her to dance. Trust me on this. He would just ignore her and leave.

Those whose husbands ask them to attend probably see that their wife is in a rut or is one of those non motivated types that would rather just sit and watch TV... so they may be trying to get them out and active again. You see them fail, because they are the type that would fail regardless of a man even being in the picture. They have issues. They may simply just be couch potato types or clinically depressed (which may not have ANYTHING to do with the man).

My best friend is married to a woman like that. He is the nicest guy in the world and he wants his wife happy. All she does is sit on her butt every day and play computer games or watch TV. She does nothing. He has asked her to go to dance classes and such.. not as a method to force her to meet his needs... but to snap her out of her homebound ways. And she fails... everytime. Not because of him, but because is a non motivated person who really needs some help.... but of course she refuses that as well.

Sorry honey, but you got this one all wrong. Almost every woman in there whose husband has asked them to attend... is trying to save them.

[najida]

Nope,
I've been doing this a long time....
It's usually followed by “he want’s to know how soon I'll be able to dance for him.”

Not for a long time dear. "But he's getting impatient, he wants to see something." And I can tell she's extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation. He wants her to be an instant sex pot and what I teach, ain't sex pot stuff....sorry...it's a folk dance. And it's hard.

Or even creepier is the occasional letch who shows up with a check saying 'I want my wife to do this' (eye brow wiggle). Like what? You want her to be something she isn't? Maybe she'd rather take clogging...ask her! BTW, take your check down to the salon next door and use it to get those eyebrows trimmed.

Again, my gut reaction when a woman shows up to 'spice up her marriage' or 'my hubby wants me to do this' is to tell her to go take aerobics. Do something fun for herself....if she's not there because SHE loves the dance, she'll be miserable. And I'll be wasting my time.

[PennsylvaniaMom]

Your friend’s wife sound like she is clinically depressed. Has he suggested medical treatment?

[SeaHawkFan]

Husbands who dance with their wives get laid a lot more often.

Women who are clinically depressed are very difficult to live with, so your friend has my empathy. If she won’t seek treatment, he is in a tough position until the kids are gone.