Wow, Dr Laura isn’t doing any favors to womanhood with that statement. It seems to me that a man will cheat even if he has the most rewarding marriage (sexually, emotionally, etc).
Some wives also grant or deny sex as a system of reward and punishment, obviating other dynamics in the marriage.
The principle at work, whether or not explicitly understood or acknowledged is: “If I can give pleasure, I can withhold pleasure”.
Base manipulation.
Cheating on the marriage vows is immoral, but then cheating on those vows sometimes happens in very subtle ways, creating a “victim”.
And no, I do not hold a LCSW certification, nor have played one on TV.
Its a matter of percentages. There a scummy spouses that will cheat no matter what. Then there are decent spouses that give in to temptation that they otherwise wouldn't have, if their spouse were a decent person to them.
Of course, we're all different but I would suggest that if a man cheats, it is because there is something, somewhere, lacking in his marriage. Seems pretty obvious. This is not to say that the wife is to blame, but he is seeking something he can't get at home, be it, emotional or physical. The same can be said for a cheating wife.
I would even go further to say that if there is cheating going on, the spouse has to have some kind of sense of it. It shouldn't come as a total shock. If there is something missing in that marriage, the spouse should be able to sense it also unless she/he is an idiot living in total denial. People who think that their spouse would never, EVER cheat are the same that think their children are perfect angels. Not to say that their children aren't perfect angels, but they are setting themselves up for an awful big letdown if and when they get that call at 2am to come down to the station and bail their little angel out.
And really, she isn't doing any favors to "manhood" either. Seems that she regards men as childlike and perpetually immature. According to Dr. Laura, we are all candidates for "Eliot Spitzerhood." I happen to have a little bit higher regard for myself and believe that my wife does as well.
You might be right, but I maintain that women who are shrews, spendthrifts, substance abusers or have let themselves become disheveled physically or in the bedroom, often drive their husbands astray.
No one, male or female, can totally hold back the ravages of aging, but people who are overweight, have poor dental or personal hygiene, or become detached or confrontational due to substance abuse or mental illness are giving their spouses every excuse to look elsewhere for what their marriage is lacking.
I heard a man call a talk show yesterday ...he was 35 and he uses call girls at least once a month. He said it’s his wifes fault for not being pretty and thin enough for him anymore. He said it’s her obligation to be the best she can be because men have ‘needs’. I wish I could of talked to him.
>>It seems to me that a man will cheat even if he has the most rewarding marriage...<<
Sometimes that is true. Often, though, she “motivates” him to. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it (even though I didn’t do it).
The effort to 'step out' is beyond most of us.
But when a guy gets humiliated at home ......